It's the last day of the year, 5 hours and counting and it will be over. I should have written this a few days, or even a few weeks ago, but well, at least I still have one last post for 2010.
I thought I would be celebrating the coming of 2011 with all joy and anticipation; part of me still wants to, but there has been a lot of happenings lately that made me want to hold on to 2010 even more. December always passes with doubled speed -- both in a good and bad way. And 2010, well, it's been a fast-slow year, if you know what I mean. I look back and I want to say I have no regrets. Or at least at this moment I'm not regretful of anything. Achievements, aplenty; setbacks, bound to be there; but what's more important and will always be is the promise that God is there through it all.
There are things that happened recently that I can't write it here, but suffice it to say that it totally challenged and revolutionised my perspective about many things. Okay, maybe I'm not at the point of being revolutionised yet, but challenged, definitely. How challenged? Well, when all that you know and all that you're passionate about and all that you believe in becomes irrelevant to the people around you and to the world. When it dawns upon you that what you've been doing and the cause you've been fighting for doesn't mean anything to the people that you're fighting for. When you begin to realise that you're a wretched self-righteous hypocrite who can't represent the Saviour you love. When you look at Jesus' life and you desperately ask Him, "Lord, how did you do it? How will I ever reach there?" When you looked at the people around you and you realised you're equally in need of the love of Jesus, but you're still snobbishly living in denial, thinking that you're 'holier than thou'. This is how I defined 'challenged'.
I guess when I wrote the post on Christianity is controversial, this is what I really mean. I guess it now gives me a new meaning, or more like, a new question, a new quest to overcome. Jesus said that we will do the things that He did, and greater things than these we will do. But Lord, may you give us the grace to do them, because we can't do it by ourselves, we are nothing.
I've never written a new year resolution or thought of it as early as this time. I have written it at the beginning of the month, and almost forgotten about it, but I know what I wanted to do at heart. I knew that greater things are going to come, but I need to be ready for them; my heart needs to be ready. Yet, at this point, being 'challenged', I have much to lay down, plentiful to crucify and emotions to reconcile. And I don't know how, only that Lord, I need You.
If I get to make a New Year's wish, or if there was ever such a thing, it would be to have Your assurance that You are with me, and You will guide me to do the right things, say the right words, make the right decisions. Would You show me more? I need desperately You, Jesus...
And Lord, 2011 is for You, Your glory, Your Honour, Your praise. I love You.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
How He Loves Us
God love you. Yes, you, reading this and listening to this song. He wants to encounter you. Just open up your heart and let Him saturate you with His love.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
It is Good
There was a king who had a loyal servant. This servant was an optimistic person and in all things, he always said, "It is good!", no matter what it was.
The king was one who loved hunting. One day, he and the servant went out hunting in the forest. They went deep into the wood searching for dear. The servant loaded a gun and handed it to the kind, but alas he loaded it wrong and when the kind fired it, his thumb was blown off.
"It is good!" exclaimed the servant.
The king was bleeding and furious. "How can you say this is good? This is obviously horrible!" he screamed at him. He was so furious that he put the servant into jail.
Some time later the king went hunting again, this time by himself. In his journey, he encountered cannibals who captured him and took him to their village. They bound him and was preparing him as their supper. But as they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So they untied the king and sent him on his way.
Full of remorse the king rushed to the prison to release his servant.
"You were right, it was good," said the king.
And the king told his servant how the missing thumb had saved his life and added, "I feel so sad that I locked you in jail. That was such a bad thing to do."
"No! It is good!" responded his servant.
"How could that be good? I did a terrible thing to you while I owe you my life."
"It is good," said his servant, "because if I wasn't in jail I would have been hunting with you, and the cannibals would have killed me instead."
The king was one who loved hunting. One day, he and the servant went out hunting in the forest. They went deep into the wood searching for dear. The servant loaded a gun and handed it to the kind, but alas he loaded it wrong and when the kind fired it, his thumb was blown off.
"It is good!" exclaimed the servant.
The king was bleeding and furious. "How can you say this is good? This is obviously horrible!" he screamed at him. He was so furious that he put the servant into jail.
Some time later the king went hunting again, this time by himself. In his journey, he encountered cannibals who captured him and took him to their village. They bound him and was preparing him as their supper. But as they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So they untied the king and sent him on his way.
Full of remorse the king rushed to the prison to release his servant.
"You were right, it was good," said the king.
And the king told his servant how the missing thumb had saved his life and added, "I feel so sad that I locked you in jail. That was such a bad thing to do."
"No! It is good!" responded his servant.
"How could that be good? I did a terrible thing to you while I owe you my life."
"It is good," said his servant, "because if I wasn't in jail I would have been hunting with you, and the cannibals would have killed me instead."
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Quarter of a Century
Yes, I know I should have posted this about a week ago, but still, late is better than nothing.
I'm delighted with the all the well wishes and blessings given by my friends, the surprise celebration after cell group, the after-church supper, and the Friday night dinner. I'm thankful of my parents who brought me up and raised me to who I am today. I'm truly grateful of all the lovely people around me. But most of all, I'm thankful and grateful to God for life. Thank you.
Life is beautiful. I've lived a quarter of a century and am able to testify of it. Sure, there are ups and downs every moment and every phase of our lives, but still, life is truly beautiful when you're able to appreciate the beauty of the Lord who created you.
Any special thoughts for being 25? Well, only that I'm wishing to move on to the next phase of life. Of course, obviously, life is not just about getting to the next phase, but the growing itself, growing more and more mature, growing more and more in spiritual understanding. But I know God is interested in all aspects of my life. And this, I surrender to Him.
I realised that at different stages of our lives, we have different groups of people around us. And until a point, some people will be less in contact with you, and from there getting lesser and lesser. Maybe even some relationships that you need to give up and move on. There may not be any reasons to giving up some relationships, only that times and seasons have changed and both parties have taken different paths and made different choices in life.
There are some relationships that you'll always have around you. There are some relationships that you've got to let go because it will not bring any result. There are relationships that will grow and blossom. There are relationships that will fade away through time, and when you meet them again you're loss at words. But God is the only one that will remain the same forever.
Life is beautiful. I'll move on beautifully, like a butterfly and flutters gently from one flower to another. I'll mount up with wings like eagle and soar higher. I'll behold the rising and setting sun, and know that You have appointed times and seasons, numbered them, yes, but each for me to enjoy, together in Your glorious presence.
*
My company pays us for a present for our birthday, so I went hunting for a dress for Christmas during the weekend, with a certain budget. I went to a few places, but I didn't find what I wanted until I went further away. I drove there with in mind of getting the dress within 2-3 hours' time. I don't like shopping when I have something specific to hunt for without a specific knowing of where to get it; I don't enjoy hopping from shop to shop and looking through many colours and styles but not finding what I want. I have a very low stamina for shopping. (Not sure if that's something normal, me being a girl...)
So I prayed and told God, "please tell me where to get this dress. I don't even have any idea how it should look like, but I want to have a belt that goes with it." And I went hunting for the dress. I reached the mall at 5.45pm, and I walked for a long time without seeing anything that was close to the little idea I had in mind. I was getting very tired and discouraged when I went into this shop and saw the blue dress. It fitted nicely, and I chose a black belt to go with it. I calculated the price of both and it was exactly to my budget! Praise God! It was around 7.50pm when I paid of the dress and belt. Two full hours of shopping, and I got what I wanted. XD
*
Shall keep posting...
I'm delighted with the all the well wishes and blessings given by my friends, the surprise celebration after cell group, the after-church supper, and the Friday night dinner. I'm thankful of my parents who brought me up and raised me to who I am today. I'm truly grateful of all the lovely people around me. But most of all, I'm thankful and grateful to God for life. Thank you.
Life is beautiful. I've lived a quarter of a century and am able to testify of it. Sure, there are ups and downs every moment and every phase of our lives, but still, life is truly beautiful when you're able to appreciate the beauty of the Lord who created you.
Any special thoughts for being 25? Well, only that I'm wishing to move on to the next phase of life. Of course, obviously, life is not just about getting to the next phase, but the growing itself, growing more and more mature, growing more and more in spiritual understanding. But I know God is interested in all aspects of my life. And this, I surrender to Him.
I realised that at different stages of our lives, we have different groups of people around us. And until a point, some people will be less in contact with you, and from there getting lesser and lesser. Maybe even some relationships that you need to give up and move on. There may not be any reasons to giving up some relationships, only that times and seasons have changed and both parties have taken different paths and made different choices in life.
There are some relationships that you'll always have around you. There are some relationships that you've got to let go because it will not bring any result. There are relationships that will grow and blossom. There are relationships that will fade away through time, and when you meet them again you're loss at words. But God is the only one that will remain the same forever.
Life is beautiful. I'll move on beautifully, like a butterfly and flutters gently from one flower to another. I'll mount up with wings like eagle and soar higher. I'll behold the rising and setting sun, and know that You have appointed times and seasons, numbered them, yes, but each for me to enjoy, together in Your glorious presence.
*
My company pays us for a present for our birthday, so I went hunting for a dress for Christmas during the weekend, with a certain budget. I went to a few places, but I didn't find what I wanted until I went further away. I drove there with in mind of getting the dress within 2-3 hours' time. I don't like shopping when I have something specific to hunt for without a specific knowing of where to get it; I don't enjoy hopping from shop to shop and looking through many colours and styles but not finding what I want. I have a very low stamina for shopping. (Not sure if that's something normal, me being a girl...)
So I prayed and told God, "please tell me where to get this dress. I don't even have any idea how it should look like, but I want to have a belt that goes with it." And I went hunting for the dress. I reached the mall at 5.45pm, and I walked for a long time without seeing anything that was close to the little idea I had in mind. I was getting very tired and discouraged when I went into this shop and saw the blue dress. It fitted nicely, and I chose a black belt to go with it. I calculated the price of both and it was exactly to my budget! Praise God! It was around 7.50pm when I paid of the dress and belt. Two full hours of shopping, and I got what I wanted. XD
*
Shall keep posting...
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Crossroads
If you always hear pastors / preachers telling you that Jesus has been tempted in every way possible as a human, yet without sin, and that he has been through all your suffering and pain in life and can identify with you, I would like to tell you that it's true. At any point of your life, whatever situation or circumstances you face, just think the ever famous abbreviation -- WWJD (What would Jesus do?) and put Him in your shoes. He wears all sizes. He's the only One whose size fits all. Or should I say, He fits into all sizes.
I've titled this post "Crossroads" because this is what we face most frequently. Decisions. Choice. What would you do? What should you do? Why? How will it turn out to be? Well, Jesus was at the greatest crossroads ever. I can't say if it's the greatest crossroads of human history, just trying to make it sound big, but I'm sure it was one of the toughest, if not THE toughest choice to make. It was at the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus waged an intense prayer warfare against spiritual darkness, against His flesh and Himself, and said, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done." Luke recorded in his gospel that "...being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground."
Jesus was at the crossroad of obeying the Father and giving up His life as a ransom for the whole mankind, or resisting this will and continue living His life. If He continued on, I'm sure beyond any doubt that He will preach to many more, heal many more, cast out more demons, perform more miracles, bring many more to salvation, etc. Yet, it was God's timing and purpose for Him to die so that even people beyond His time can believe and be saved. So, on one hand, Jesus would suffer excruciating pain and death, but He will save mankind. On the other, He would preserve His life so that He could continue to achieve greater success in ministry and impact the whole Israel, but He will not be remembered beyond His time; He will just be another prophet who has passed by in the Israelite's history.
Mankind at the expense of His own flesh and blood, or livelihood in the expense of short term achievement.
What is the "more right" thing to do when all the paths at the crossroads are right?
Many times in life, we face crossroads like this, where all the paths are right. There is no right or wrong to a decision, only whether it will lead you to greater, better results than the other.
We ask the Lord, "God, what is Your will for my life? Tell me, is it A, or B, or C?"
And He says, "Whichever way you take, I will bless you."
And many times when He says that, you know that you know, right deep down in your heart, what is your decision, and whether that decision is pleasing in God's eyes. "How do you know?" you might ask. My answer is... "You know that you know. Listen to that still small voice in your heart."
There are crossroads in life that involve the decision of the people around you. They may have made a choice to move on to a different path than yours, and you are somewhat affected by it. Never a day has passed that I did not think of the question, "What about me?" I'm not asking it in a self-centred way, but merely saying, what would my decision be? What would be the "more right" thing to do, for myself? I wouldn't say I can just suck it all up and pretend that other people won't cause me to falter, but I have learned that no matter what happens, I'll just have to stick to the promises of God.
Would I give up my life for many others to live, or save myself so that some others can live? I'll choose the former.
I'm not noble or able. I'm just saying, it would be the "more right" choice. And I will want to choose this.
How do I walk down the path I have chosen? By looking steadfastly and steadily at Jesus, who has paved the highway for me. Already I'm seeing new favour and blessings, even divine protection coming on me. Surely His grace is sufficient for me, just as His mercy is new every morning. Thank You, Lord. I will hold on to You. Because You never fail.
Your joy makes everything complete. I love You, Lord.
I've titled this post "Crossroads" because this is what we face most frequently. Decisions. Choice. What would you do? What should you do? Why? How will it turn out to be? Well, Jesus was at the greatest crossroads ever. I can't say if it's the greatest crossroads of human history, just trying to make it sound big, but I'm sure it was one of the toughest, if not THE toughest choice to make. It was at the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus waged an intense prayer warfare against spiritual darkness, against His flesh and Himself, and said, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done." Luke recorded in his gospel that "...being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground."
Jesus was at the crossroad of obeying the Father and giving up His life as a ransom for the whole mankind, or resisting this will and continue living His life. If He continued on, I'm sure beyond any doubt that He will preach to many more, heal many more, cast out more demons, perform more miracles, bring many more to salvation, etc. Yet, it was God's timing and purpose for Him to die so that even people beyond His time can believe and be saved. So, on one hand, Jesus would suffer excruciating pain and death, but He will save mankind. On the other, He would preserve His life so that He could continue to achieve greater success in ministry and impact the whole Israel, but He will not be remembered beyond His time; He will just be another prophet who has passed by in the Israelite's history.
Mankind at the expense of His own flesh and blood, or livelihood in the expense of short term achievement.
What is the "more right" thing to do when all the paths at the crossroads are right?
Many times in life, we face crossroads like this, where all the paths are right. There is no right or wrong to a decision, only whether it will lead you to greater, better results than the other.
We ask the Lord, "God, what is Your will for my life? Tell me, is it A, or B, or C?"
And He says, "Whichever way you take, I will bless you."
And many times when He says that, you know that you know, right deep down in your heart, what is your decision, and whether that decision is pleasing in God's eyes. "How do you know?" you might ask. My answer is... "You know that you know. Listen to that still small voice in your heart."
There are crossroads in life that involve the decision of the people around you. They may have made a choice to move on to a different path than yours, and you are somewhat affected by it. Never a day has passed that I did not think of the question, "What about me?" I'm not asking it in a self-centred way, but merely saying, what would my decision be? What would be the "more right" thing to do, for myself? I wouldn't say I can just suck it all up and pretend that other people won't cause me to falter, but I have learned that no matter what happens, I'll just have to stick to the promises of God.
Would I give up my life for many others to live, or save myself so that some others can live? I'll choose the former.
I'm not noble or able. I'm just saying, it would be the "more right" choice. And I will want to choose this.
How do I walk down the path I have chosen? By looking steadfastly and steadily at Jesus, who has paved the highway for me. Already I'm seeing new favour and blessings, even divine protection coming on me. Surely His grace is sufficient for me, just as His mercy is new every morning. Thank You, Lord. I will hold on to You. Because You never fail.
Your joy makes everything complete. I love You, Lord.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
万事都互相效力 All Things Work Out for Good
有时候很想对一些事情作出发表，可是想了想，还是沉默比较好。不是因为没有主见或是不敢做声，而是因为上帝自由安排。很多时候在我们生命里，或是身边的人身上发生了一些事情我们都无能为力，都是因为我们感到无助、无奈，所以很丧气，甚至连祷告都没有心机。就算我们身为上帝的儿女拥有祂赐的权柄和恩膏，如果我们无法掌控自己的情绪，把心静下来，我们就不能索取上帝的应许来应付生活上的挑战。
今天公司里发生了一些令大家都觉得人神共愤的事情。不会在这里详细的讲述，只是想提点自己，要仰望上帝。虽然事情不是发生在我身上，可是事情演变成今天的局势，我都只是在抱怨、猜测、感到恐惧、觉得无奈无助、想放弃、无法继续走下去前方的路。过后当心静下来时，才领悟到我是应该把神的爱散播给每个人的那位，我是祈祷大使，是众人的希望，是那位真正能照亮这世界的人，不是因为我有些什么能力，只是因为我是上帝的儿女，上帝差遣了我，把使命交给了我。
顿时感到自己很没用，因为反而是同僚们来安慰我，激励我。我只能跟自己说，下次做好一点；跟上帝说，我很需要袮；跟同事说，对不起，我没办法帮到你，可是我会为你祷告。
虽然环境没有改善，事情没有转机，祈求的事项还没有实现，可是我心里坚信一切掌控在上帝手中，祂会带来改变，塑造我们的环境和身边的人。罗马书8章25-28节也说到：但我们若盼望那所不见的，就必忍耐等候。况且我们的软弱有圣灵帮助，我们本不晓得当怎样祷告，只是圣灵亲自用说不出来的叹息替我们祷告。鉴察人心的，晓得圣灵的意思，因为圣灵照着神的旨意替圣徒祈求。我们晓得万事都互相效力，叫爱神的人得益处，就是按他旨意被召的人。
很多时候我们都不知道该怎么做，不知道面对这些问题该怎么回应。上帝，袮来教导我、指引我吧。告诉我下一步该怎么走。保护我，让我靠着袮的恩典活出这美丽人生，因为生命因爱而动听。
今天公司里发生了一些令大家都觉得人神共愤的事情。不会在这里详细的讲述，只是想提点自己，要仰望上帝。虽然事情不是发生在我身上，可是事情演变成今天的局势，我都只是在抱怨、猜测、感到恐惧、觉得无奈无助、想放弃、无法继续走下去前方的路。过后当心静下来时，才领悟到我是应该把神的爱散播给每个人的那位，我是祈祷大使，是众人的希望，是那位真正能照亮这世界的人，不是因为我有些什么能力，只是因为我是上帝的儿女，上帝差遣了我，把使命交给了我。
顿时感到自己很没用，因为反而是同僚们来安慰我，激励我。我只能跟自己说，下次做好一点；跟上帝说，我很需要袮；跟同事说，对不起，我没办法帮到你，可是我会为你祷告。
虽然环境没有改善，事情没有转机，祈求的事项还没有实现，可是我心里坚信一切掌控在上帝手中，祂会带来改变，塑造我们的环境和身边的人。罗马书8章25-28节也说到：但我们若盼望那所不见的，就必忍耐等候。况且我们的软弱有圣灵帮助，我们本不晓得当怎样祷告，只是圣灵亲自用说不出来的叹息替我们祷告。鉴察人心的，晓得圣灵的意思，因为圣灵照着神的旨意替圣徒祈求。我们晓得万事都互相效力，叫爱神的人得益处，就是按他旨意被召的人。
很多时候我们都不知道该怎么做，不知道面对这些问题该怎么回应。上帝，袮来教导我、指引我吧。告诉我下一步该怎么走。保护我，让我靠着袮的恩典活出这美丽人生，因为生命因爱而动听。
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
The Hope of All Hearts
Lord, Indeed, You never fail. I'll hold on to You, wait on You, hope on You...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Passion
Picture taken from gettyimages.com
This is the first time that I didn't shed a single tear. I still felt the excruciating pain when they whipped Jesus and nailed Him on the cross, but I also received a revelation from there. It's not just about treasuring my salvation and the life that Jesus has bought back for me by His body and blood, but the crucifixion itself, and the process of it all, and all that the Roman soldiers and religious authority did to Him was prophesied hundreds of years before He was born... it's such a significant turning point for all mankind.
I understood grace even more now. Who am I that He, the King and Lord of all, would give His life for me, suffer and die for me, just so that I would be made whole and complete and well again, just so that I would be able to have an abundant life. Not because I deserve it, but because I am wretched and I need Him. Amazing grace. Amazing love.
Passion is sacrifice. It's not just a deep love for something, but an act upon your love, that you will not hold back anything just to get to it, just to achieve it. You will not think twice about laying down anything of your self in exchange to it. You will be willing to sacrifice for it.
If you have a passion for photography, you sacrifice your money and time to buy camera and learn to use it, you pour your whole heart to it, just to see the produce of your photography. If you have a passion for music, you invest in instruments, protectives, polish; you invest your time to brush up on skills; you buy albums and listen over and over again; you learn from others.
But Christ, His passion was us, His people, His creation, His children. He invested His whole life for us, He sacrificed Himself. We sometimes devalue the word 'sacrifice'; e.g. "I sacrificed my time and money and youth to learn dancing." or "I sacrificed some meals and gave my money for the church." Compare that with what Jesus did, it really puts things into perspective. Jesus gave His body and His blood as the ransom to buy us back from spiritual darkness. And He gave it willingly. He was betrayed, accused, trialed, spat at, mocked at, scourged, beaten up, bruised, crucified, pierced, rejected, abandoned ... but there was never a word of complaint. He bore it all willingly, because He loved us. Passion is sacrifice.
There is no greater sacrifice than that of Jesus Christ. The Lord showed me that really, actually, whatever things that we suffer here on earth, every heartache, every pain, every rejection, every hurt, every challenge that we face, everything that we think we are unable to overcome, every setback, every obstacle, every opposition... He has taken it all unto Himself, so that we will not need to sacrifice. I'm again reminded that every challenge I face is just a tiny dot compare to what I will be rewarded and enjoy in eternity. And everything I thought impossible is already possible, because the most unthinkable and impossible -- God dying for His creation -- was already done. No wonder Hebrew 12:2 says to keep looking unto Jesus, the Author and the Finisher of our faith. Look unto the cross, look unto His finished work, there lies the power that will defeat and crush satan under our feet!
Lord, as we lift You up in our daily lives, may You draw all men unto Yourself. Amen.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Dream Come True
I think my dream is coming true. Yes, I'm talking about the one I had about the team of scientists coming to do tests on how much a person can withstand physical and emotional pain. Maybe you're reading this title and you're thinking to yourself, "Wow, her dream comes true! How nice." Well, let me tell you that if you didn't have a nice dream and it turns out to be true, it's nothing nice at all.
I know that when I had that dream, it was something very assuring, because although it was excruciatingly painful, but I withstood the pain and suffering, knowing deep in my heart and mind that Jesus was with me. Looks like I really am taking over my colleague's job... at least somewhat. Lord, please help me to keep the faith that you have imparted. Pain will come, but fear, you disappear and become powerless at the presence of Jesus Christ!
1THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.
2He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters.(A)
3He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake.
4Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.
5You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with [a]oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.
6Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.
I know that when I had that dream, it was something very assuring, because although it was excruciatingly painful, but I withstood the pain and suffering, knowing deep in my heart and mind that Jesus was with me. Looks like I really am taking over my colleague's job... at least somewhat. Lord, please help me to keep the faith that you have imparted. Pain will come, but fear, you disappear and become powerless at the presence of Jesus Christ!
Picture taken from gettyimages.com
Psalm 23 (Amplified Bible)
1THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.
2He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters.(A)
3He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake.
4Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.
5You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with [a]oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.
6Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Highly Favoured by God
It’s been another week. Time flies at the speed perhaps second to light, but I should commend on this week because it’s been a week of tremendous blessing, great burning of the Holy Spirit within me compelling me to go, it’s been a week filled with peace that surpasses all understanding.
Where should I start, but to start with praising the Lord?
He is awesome. His favour never fails. And His favour always comes as unmerited, undeserved grace. The Lord always backs us up with more than enough grace as we do His work – sowing seeds of love, planting a word of encouragement, urging fellow believers to become disciples, praying for changes to happen and materialise just as it is in the heavenly realm, calling down His hope and peace when there is despair… Lord, without You I am nothing.
Just the other day I was late for work. And I’m talking about really, really very late. I woke up in shock and disbelief that I was 5 minutes away from the clock in time. Well, what to do? Just take my time to get ready and drive to work with the peace of God in my heart and not fretting.
My colleagues will usually be reprimanded for clocking in late by 1 or 2 minutes. This is the first time I’m ever late for work, and it’s not a 1 or 2 minute lateness. It’s 1 hour and 25 minutes! Both my bosses just smiled at me as I entered the office and told them that it was because I had forgotten to set my alarm and I woke up at 8.10am.
Favour.
My teammates have long ago acknowledged that there is indeed favour upon me and my work. Of course, they didn’t exactly acknowledge God in the picture although I told them before that it was God’s favour on me. And yes, they do joke about it every day, but still, it doesn’t change this fact and truth that I am indeed a highly favoured one.
I am thankful, but my desire is to see all my teammates experience the same favour that I have. I want to see them being blessed in their work and receive recognition and praise for their work, because they work very hard. I want to see all the accusation and injustices that they suffer be nullified. And more than anything, I want to see them believe in Jesus.
Two days ago I had a dream about my work. (I seldom dream about work.) I dreamed that there were some people who came with weird instruments to do some research and test on me and my colleagues on our ability to withstand pain. But it's not just a test on physical pain; the instrument tested on emotional pain at the same time, where the more physical pain you experience, the more emotional pain would increase as well. A few of us were selected to go through this test, and the people assured us that it will not do us great harm. One of my teammates were selected, but I negotiated and told the scientists to let her go, that I would replace her. So they did.
They put a band around my left wrist and started on the weird instrument. I felt pain instantly, slowly at first, and growing more intense as they increased the "volume" on the machine. I could feel a piercing, searing pain in my heart, almost like the emotional pain inside was channelled to my brain cells and transmitted throughout my whole body so that I feel the physical pain. I didn't cry out even though I was already in great pain, yet all the while I felt as though my body was separated from my mind. Throughout the test, I was thinking about how Jesus had suffered the cross and that pain must have been greater than what I was going through. And so the test went on; the scientists kept increasing the "volume". It was getting excruciating now, but I still did not cry out; I still persevered.
Yesterday, I had another dream about my colleagues. It was an annual occasion of some sort for the company, but I don't know what it was. It was almost like a bonus giving day, except that it wasn't. My bosses had prepared gifts for each of us and we were to go to them one by one to receive the gifts. I got a beautifully decorated box. It's not a big box; only the size of my palm, not tall either. My teammates have opened their boxes and revealed accessories of all kinds. All of them only had one or two accessories. I opened mine and took out the accessories one by one, for there were many -- pearl chains, necklaces, earrings, bracelets, you name it. As I took them out one by one, my teammates were all amazed and envious of my gift.
Many things are happening at the moment, and mostly changes that are not good. But I believe the Lord is telling me that even though I will go through times when things are negative and look like they will become worse, He is sustaining me, He will see me through, He will come through for me. And in the midst of all, I will receive gifts and favour from Him. I will remain the highly favoured one. Praise the Lord, He is awesome.
Lord, I pray that at where you have placed me, it will be a position of influence, a position that will enable to share Your love and shine Your glory. Please let Your grace be upon me, so that I will have open doors to preach the gospel, so that in my work I will glorify You.
* picture from gettyimages.com
Friday, October 15, 2010
Christianity is Confrontational
I have mentioned in my previous post that the gospel of Christ is never traditional, goes by human standards or public opinion. It's always confrontational, to the preacher, as well as to the hearer.
If you've never thought of preaching the gospel as a challenge or confrontational to what you know is yourself, I would like to sincerely congratulate you. But you can only be one of the two: (1) You've laid down so much for the Lord that you no longer see preaching Christ as a doing but a living; or (2) You've never preached the gospel to a single person, so there's nothing confrontational to yourself, because you've not stepped out. I'm congratulating you only if you're the first.
Why is preaching the gospel confrontation first to yourself? Because there are many barriers to break, but these are all in your mind. You can only step out in faith after you have confronted these questions in your mind and overcome them. Yes, you can tell yourself a gazillion times "I need to preach the gospel, I should preach the gospel, I need to tell about Jesus!", but not until you actually confronted the thoughts of "this person won't accept Christ" or "He's not open" or "She's of a different religion", you won't take the step of faith to even say the word 'God' in your conversation.
If you don't already know, I'm a Chinese Malaysia, which means my racial identity is Chinese. I get this question from non-Chinese friends sometimes: "Do you celebrate Chinese New Year or Christmas?" I will answer with a smile, "both." Somehow, many people think that because I am a Christian, I shouldn't be celebrating Chinese New Year, because they think the festive occasion has to do with religion.
There's a big difference between cultural traditions and religious practices. Sure there are many festive occasions that are related to one's religion, but there are also many other practices we do simply because we are of that particular race. My fellow Chinese Malaysia, do you know that Christians can and do practice the tea ceremony during weddings, besides having a Christian wedding ceremony in church? Now, is the tea ceremony religious practice or tradition? Do you know that Christians can and do go for Ching Bing to remember their ancestors? Only we don't pray to them or burn any paper money to the dead. Is Ching Bing a religious practice or a tradition and heritage?
Many people think that Ching Bing is a religious practice. Well, do a search about how Ching Bing came about and you will know that the value behind this practice is a heart of filial respect for our parents. And this value is a precious and beautiful heritage that we Chinese practice through centuries. It has been made religious, with people telling you that if you don't burn more paper money for the dead, you will not receive blessing. Or if you pray more to them, the dead will bless you. There is serious misconception that visiting the cemetery to respect the dead is religious.
Friends, it is a tradition, a Chinese culture and heritage that should be kept and practiced, because it is a good value passed down from centuries to teach us to be respectful and honour those who are elder than us, our ancestors, our parents. The only religious thing that you do is when you burn the 'offering' and 'pray' to the dead. Religion is man's self effort to reach God, but to no avail because God is absolutely holy and man is sinful.
And this is why the gospel is confrontational to the hearer. To most Chinese families, when the parents learned that their children have become Christians, their primary concern would be that the children will no longer pay respect to them when they pass away. Christianity confronts tradition. But in this case, tradition is confused and mixed with religion. Does it confront the tradition and value of being filial? Yes, and it confronts the value so that one not only pay respect to the dead, but to the living. That, is transformation. When you believe in Christ, He says in His word to honour your father and mother, that your days may be long. Does He say we should honour our parents when they are living or dead? Of course when they are well and living!
In Jesus' preaching, there were many instances that were confrontational to the people who were listening to Him. Jesus said to one who wanted to follow Him, "Let the dead bury their own dead" (Matthew 8:22); declared spiritual worship to a Samaritan woman (John 4:23-24); said to multitudes who followed him, "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brother and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple." -- He confronted traditions and taboos of His days. Jesus said to the Pharisees, "Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?" (Luke 14:3); He said to the woman caught in adultery, "go and sin no more" when by the law of Moses she was supposed to be stoned -- He confronted religion and religious laws. It was transformation that He wanted to bring -- transforming mindsets and hearts, transforming dead works to become works of faith by grace.
When we yield ourselves to Jesus and let Him confront our old mindsets and old self, He transforms us into His likeness and glory. When we let Him transform us despite our backgrounds of traditions and culture, we will not be conformed to the values of this world. Even the good values of this world when transformed by the Lord, it becomes good and acceptable and perfect, will of God.
Don't be held back by your traditions or culture. Don't be held back because of religion, your futile self effort to reach God. Don't be held back because of you lack the courage and faith to confront the excuse to evangelise. God did not hold back His only begotten Son, the only Son that He love.
If you've never thought of preaching the gospel as a challenge or confrontational to what you know is yourself, I would like to sincerely congratulate you. But you can only be one of the two: (1) You've laid down so much for the Lord that you no longer see preaching Christ as a doing but a living; or (2) You've never preached the gospel to a single person, so there's nothing confrontational to yourself, because you've not stepped out. I'm congratulating you only if you're the first.
Why is preaching the gospel confrontation first to yourself? Because there are many barriers to break, but these are all in your mind. You can only step out in faith after you have confronted these questions in your mind and overcome them. Yes, you can tell yourself a gazillion times "I need to preach the gospel, I should preach the gospel, I need to tell about Jesus!", but not until you actually confronted the thoughts of "this person won't accept Christ" or "He's not open" or "She's of a different religion", you won't take the step of faith to even say the word 'God' in your conversation.
If you don't already know, I'm a Chinese Malaysia, which means my racial identity is Chinese. I get this question from non-Chinese friends sometimes: "Do you celebrate Chinese New Year or Christmas?" I will answer with a smile, "both." Somehow, many people think that because I am a Christian, I shouldn't be celebrating Chinese New Year, because they think the festive occasion has to do with religion.
There's a big difference between cultural traditions and religious practices. Sure there are many festive occasions that are related to one's religion, but there are also many other practices we do simply because we are of that particular race. My fellow Chinese Malaysia, do you know that Christians can and do practice the tea ceremony during weddings, besides having a Christian wedding ceremony in church? Now, is the tea ceremony religious practice or tradition? Do you know that Christians can and do go for Ching Bing to remember their ancestors? Only we don't pray to them or burn any paper money to the dead. Is Ching Bing a religious practice or a tradition and heritage?
Many people think that Ching Bing is a religious practice. Well, do a search about how Ching Bing came about and you will know that the value behind this practice is a heart of filial respect for our parents. And this value is a precious and beautiful heritage that we Chinese practice through centuries. It has been made religious, with people telling you that if you don't burn more paper money for the dead, you will not receive blessing. Or if you pray more to them, the dead will bless you. There is serious misconception that visiting the cemetery to respect the dead is religious.
Friends, it is a tradition, a Chinese culture and heritage that should be kept and practiced, because it is a good value passed down from centuries to teach us to be respectful and honour those who are elder than us, our ancestors, our parents. The only religious thing that you do is when you burn the 'offering' and 'pray' to the dead. Religion is man's self effort to reach God, but to no avail because God is absolutely holy and man is sinful.
And this is why the gospel is confrontational to the hearer. To most Chinese families, when the parents learned that their children have become Christians, their primary concern would be that the children will no longer pay respect to them when they pass away. Christianity confronts tradition. But in this case, tradition is confused and mixed with religion. Does it confront the tradition and value of being filial? Yes, and it confronts the value so that one not only pay respect to the dead, but to the living. That, is transformation. When you believe in Christ, He says in His word to honour your father and mother, that your days may be long. Does He say we should honour our parents when they are living or dead? Of course when they are well and living!
In Jesus' preaching, there were many instances that were confrontational to the people who were listening to Him. Jesus said to one who wanted to follow Him, "Let the dead bury their own dead" (Matthew 8:22); declared spiritual worship to a Samaritan woman (John 4:23-24); said to multitudes who followed him, "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brother and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple." -- He confronted traditions and taboos of His days. Jesus said to the Pharisees, "Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?" (Luke 14:3); He said to the woman caught in adultery, "go and sin no more" when by the law of Moses she was supposed to be stoned -- He confronted religion and religious laws. It was transformation that He wanted to bring -- transforming mindsets and hearts, transforming dead works to become works of faith by grace.
When we yield ourselves to Jesus and let Him confront our old mindsets and old self, He transforms us into His likeness and glory. When we let Him transform us despite our backgrounds of traditions and culture, we will not be conformed to the values of this world. Even the good values of this world when transformed by the Lord, it becomes good and acceptable and perfect, will of God.
Don't be held back by your traditions or culture. Don't be held back because of religion, your futile self effort to reach God. Don't be held back because of you lack the courage and faith to confront the excuse to evangelise. God did not hold back His only begotten Son, the only Son that He love.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
For God So Loved the World
I read an article recently, it was about child abuse. I think I have never read anything that impacted me this much.
The article described a five-year-old girl who was abused to death by her own mother. She was so badly abused that she had internal and external bleeding at various places, all over her body. She was not born in a broken family -- she was the second child of the family; she had an older brother who was just 1 year older than her; her parents were married; her father had a stable job but away from home; they were not in poverty. Yet, she was a victim of cruel torture by her own mother.
What did the mother do? Constant beatings were not the only thing that this girl had to suffer; she was in constant hunger. She had never known what it means to have her stomach filled. Every evening during dinner time, her mother will be sitting at the table with her brother, and she had to come with her little bowl, begging her mother to give her some food. If her mother was angry with her, she would be scolded and chased away without any food.
When she was three, she was so hungry that she took some chicken feed to eat. The consequence? Her mother sewed her mouth! We're talking about her very own mother, who bore her for 9 months and gave birth to her!
Ten days before she died, her older brother coaxed her mother to buy some meat for him to eat because it had been a long time since he had the special dish. Her mother immediately got up and went to the market with him, came back and fried the meat. The little girl, taking the opportunity when her mother was in the bathroom, quickly took and ate some small bits of fat that was still hot. But her mother came, pulled her hair and pushed her against the wall. Knowing it would be worse if she were to cry out, the little girl could only suffer the beatings in silence. But the mother wasn't satisfied with just beating her; she dragged her near the pot of hot oil where she had just fried the meat, and poured the hot oil into her mouth!
The days following, the little girl hardly ate anything. On the ninth day, she had severe diarrhea, and was again beaten up because of that. Then on the tenth day at 1 a.m. midnight, while she was squatting over the toilet bowl trying to pee, she just collapsed. Her eyes were still wide opened, but unseeing; her mouth was opened and still bleeding profusely. Her mother tried to hide her death, by putting on new clothes on her dead body, clothes that the little girl had wanted very much to wear but was never given the chance. But when the coroner did an autopsy on her body, it was all uncovered -- all the beatings, all the cruelty... It wasn't just scars and wound that they uncovered; there were rotten wounds, her nails were black from blood clots, her chin and lips were torn apart, even her private parts were full of wounds. They even discovered a small corner in the closet where she was sleeping. Her tiny piece of mat was there and it was bloodstained.
Cut the story short, the wicked (is there a stronger word that I can use?) mother was arrested and charged at court. But the most shocking thing was, not only did she pleaded not guilty, instead she said, "This is my daughter, I have the right to do to her as I like, beat her up as much as I want to!"
Could there be something done that would have prevented her death? The neighbours, though out of sympathy would sometimes give her something to eat, were helpless about her predicament and did not do anything about it. The brother watched all the beatings and abuse, but did not do anything about it. The social workers who came periodically to visit the family were only advising the mother against the abuse; they did not do anything about it. She just silently suffered the endless tears and pain and hunger. And she died.
Talk about suffering...
When we had a paper cut or pricked our finger, or when we are accused or betrayed or back stabbed, or when we are experiencing low finance, or when we are having a bad week at work / school / college / university... Just think about this little girl who really suffered. She REALLY suffered!
When I read this, there were two questions that went through my mind. The first is: Where was God when she was suffering so much, when all she wanted was for her hunger to be filled? Was He not seeing nor hearing? Didn't He know she was in pain and crying out for help? Didn't He have all the solutions and answers? Didn't He have all the power that could have saved her? Didn't He say He created life with purpose and meaning? Was there ever the tiniest sign that there was meaning to her life? Did she exist for her family to torture her? Did she exist to suffer this way? Didn't He love her?
Well, it's easy to say that this little girl is in heaven right now and forever in His everlasting love, no more suffering and pain, no more cruelty, no more fear, no more hunger, forever satisfied in her spirit, soul and body. But is this the way God answers the question of suffering? Is this the way God answers us when WE are the ones suffering any kind of pain, whether physical or emotional, in our life?
The answer is no. He doesn't answer us the way we want our question to be answered. God is not apologetic about what happens in history, from the beginning of time until now. He doesn't need to apologise, because He is STILL the Sovereign God; He is STILL in control. Yes, you may say that the world is chaotic, so how can He be in control? Well, He's still in control because you're still living and breathing and you still have a mind that is able to reason out this question. Because the question of suffering is not just a general question we ask when face with issues like child abuse or famine or natural disasters that claimed thousands of lives and tore families apart. It is a personal question, a question that eventually you and I will ask, whether you are a believer or skeptic, whether you call yourselves agnostic or spiritual. It's the deepest cry of our heart, that "God, where are You?", of which the resounding second part of the question we dare not utter: "I need You, God..." We dare not, not because we are afraid, but because we didn't have enough faith.
The second question that went through my mind is this: For God so loved the world. This means, He loved this little girl, who suffered so much; but it hangs on the same truth that He also loved this wicked woman who murdered her own child. He LOVED her! Just think about the magnitude of this truth! It is totally unthinkable! How can anyone ever love this woman knowing that she is a merciless murderer? Even her husband and her son, how can they still love her, unless they are as cruel and cold-blooded like her? But GOD LOVED HER! He can't tolerate her sins, but He loved her and is compassionate toward her, just as much as He is to this little girl.
Sometimes, we (believers, I'm talking about us!) are like the Pharisees in the Bible. We look at people and judge whether they deserve God's love, God's salvation, God's pardon. If we don't do it outwardly, we try to excuse them in our minds, saying, "I think this person doesn't deserve to go to heaven because of the evil he's done, or because she's a prostitute, or because he's a murderer, or because she's wicked, or because he's sinful!" We even give excuses to the people we *think* we are reaching out to, saying "Well, he's a Buddhist, I don't think he is open to the gospel"; or "He's too busy to come to church / Christian events"; or "She's too worldly and her reasoning is weird". Now, isn't it clear that we really only *think* we are reaching out to them but we're actually not?
Come back to this mother, do you personally think that she deserves heaven? Well, if I were to be totally honest with myself, I would say no. A flat, no-option kind of NO. But who am I? Who are we to judge? God says she deserves, and she can be forgiven, no matter how big or small her sin is, how cruel or kindhearted, how wicked or tender she was to her child. God says SHE DESERVES! That is great love. And that is what a lot of people cannot accept. But this is THE TRUTH -- For God so loved the world! And this is the gospel of grace and everlasting love that we are to preach.
(By the way, if you're thinking, the gospel is never traditional or goes by human standards or popular opinion; it's always confrontational, to the preacher, as well as to the hearer.)
Back to question #1, where was God when the little girl needed Him? God was there. He was right there, not watching helplessly, silently, hands folded; but I believe He showed her that He also suffered and died a cruel death. Not only that; just as He resurrected and now lives forever, she too lives forever with Him, and forever without suffering and pain. Five years of torture, is but a tiny speck in the spans of eternity. And this is also the gospel of grace and everlasting love that we are to preach. Our present suffering will never be comparable to the ultimate, fullness of joy and glory we will receive in heaven.
I believe these two questions are genuine cries of our heart to understand the magnitude of God's amazing grace and love. They deserve an answer. And the answer... is none other than God.
John 3:16 -- For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall no perish but have everlasting life.
The article described a five-year-old girl who was abused to death by her own mother. She was so badly abused that she had internal and external bleeding at various places, all over her body. She was not born in a broken family -- she was the second child of the family; she had an older brother who was just 1 year older than her; her parents were married; her father had a stable job but away from home; they were not in poverty. Yet, she was a victim of cruel torture by her own mother.
What did the mother do? Constant beatings were not the only thing that this girl had to suffer; she was in constant hunger. She had never known what it means to have her stomach filled. Every evening during dinner time, her mother will be sitting at the table with her brother, and she had to come with her little bowl, begging her mother to give her some food. If her mother was angry with her, she would be scolded and chased away without any food.
When she was three, she was so hungry that she took some chicken feed to eat. The consequence? Her mother sewed her mouth! We're talking about her very own mother, who bore her for 9 months and gave birth to her!
Ten days before she died, her older brother coaxed her mother to buy some meat for him to eat because it had been a long time since he had the special dish. Her mother immediately got up and went to the market with him, came back and fried the meat. The little girl, taking the opportunity when her mother was in the bathroom, quickly took and ate some small bits of fat that was still hot. But her mother came, pulled her hair and pushed her against the wall. Knowing it would be worse if she were to cry out, the little girl could only suffer the beatings in silence. But the mother wasn't satisfied with just beating her; she dragged her near the pot of hot oil where she had just fried the meat, and poured the hot oil into her mouth!
The days following, the little girl hardly ate anything. On the ninth day, she had severe diarrhea, and was again beaten up because of that. Then on the tenth day at 1 a.m. midnight, while she was squatting over the toilet bowl trying to pee, she just collapsed. Her eyes were still wide opened, but unseeing; her mouth was opened and still bleeding profusely. Her mother tried to hide her death, by putting on new clothes on her dead body, clothes that the little girl had wanted very much to wear but was never given the chance. But when the coroner did an autopsy on her body, it was all uncovered -- all the beatings, all the cruelty... It wasn't just scars and wound that they uncovered; there were rotten wounds, her nails were black from blood clots, her chin and lips were torn apart, even her private parts were full of wounds. They even discovered a small corner in the closet where she was sleeping. Her tiny piece of mat was there and it was bloodstained.
Cut the story short, the wicked (is there a stronger word that I can use?) mother was arrested and charged at court. But the most shocking thing was, not only did she pleaded not guilty, instead she said, "This is my daughter, I have the right to do to her as I like, beat her up as much as I want to!"
Could there be something done that would have prevented her death? The neighbours, though out of sympathy would sometimes give her something to eat, were helpless about her predicament and did not do anything about it. The brother watched all the beatings and abuse, but did not do anything about it. The social workers who came periodically to visit the family were only advising the mother against the abuse; they did not do anything about it. She just silently suffered the endless tears and pain and hunger. And she died.
Talk about suffering...
When we had a paper cut or pricked our finger, or when we are accused or betrayed or back stabbed, or when we are experiencing low finance, or when we are having a bad week at work / school / college / university... Just think about this little girl who really suffered. She REALLY suffered!
When I read this, there were two questions that went through my mind. The first is: Where was God when she was suffering so much, when all she wanted was for her hunger to be filled? Was He not seeing nor hearing? Didn't He know she was in pain and crying out for help? Didn't He have all the solutions and answers? Didn't He have all the power that could have saved her? Didn't He say He created life with purpose and meaning? Was there ever the tiniest sign that there was meaning to her life? Did she exist for her family to torture her? Did she exist to suffer this way? Didn't He love her?
Well, it's easy to say that this little girl is in heaven right now and forever in His everlasting love, no more suffering and pain, no more cruelty, no more fear, no more hunger, forever satisfied in her spirit, soul and body. But is this the way God answers the question of suffering? Is this the way God answers us when WE are the ones suffering any kind of pain, whether physical or emotional, in our life?
The answer is no. He doesn't answer us the way we want our question to be answered. God is not apologetic about what happens in history, from the beginning of time until now. He doesn't need to apologise, because He is STILL the Sovereign God; He is STILL in control. Yes, you may say that the world is chaotic, so how can He be in control? Well, He's still in control because you're still living and breathing and you still have a mind that is able to reason out this question. Because the question of suffering is not just a general question we ask when face with issues like child abuse or famine or natural disasters that claimed thousands of lives and tore families apart. It is a personal question, a question that eventually you and I will ask, whether you are a believer or skeptic, whether you call yourselves agnostic or spiritual. It's the deepest cry of our heart, that "God, where are You?", of which the resounding second part of the question we dare not utter: "I need You, God..." We dare not, not because we are afraid, but because we didn't have enough faith.
The second question that went through my mind is this: For God so loved the world. This means, He loved this little girl, who suffered so much; but it hangs on the same truth that He also loved this wicked woman who murdered her own child. He LOVED her! Just think about the magnitude of this truth! It is totally unthinkable! How can anyone ever love this woman knowing that she is a merciless murderer? Even her husband and her son, how can they still love her, unless they are as cruel and cold-blooded like her? But GOD LOVED HER! He can't tolerate her sins, but He loved her and is compassionate toward her, just as much as He is to this little girl.
Sometimes, we (believers, I'm talking about us!) are like the Pharisees in the Bible. We look at people and judge whether they deserve God's love, God's salvation, God's pardon. If we don't do it outwardly, we try to excuse them in our minds, saying, "I think this person doesn't deserve to go to heaven because of the evil he's done, or because she's a prostitute, or because he's a murderer, or because she's wicked, or because he's sinful!" We even give excuses to the people we *think* we are reaching out to, saying "Well, he's a Buddhist, I don't think he is open to the gospel"; or "He's too busy to come to church / Christian events"; or "She's too worldly and her reasoning is weird". Now, isn't it clear that we really only *think* we are reaching out to them but we're actually not?
Come back to this mother, do you personally think that she deserves heaven? Well, if I were to be totally honest with myself, I would say no. A flat, no-option kind of NO. But who am I? Who are we to judge? God says she deserves, and she can be forgiven, no matter how big or small her sin is, how cruel or kindhearted, how wicked or tender she was to her child. God says SHE DESERVES! That is great love. And that is what a lot of people cannot accept. But this is THE TRUTH -- For God so loved the world! And this is the gospel of grace and everlasting love that we are to preach.
(By the way, if you're thinking, the gospel is never traditional or goes by human standards or popular opinion; it's always confrontational, to the preacher, as well as to the hearer.)
Back to question #1, where was God when the little girl needed Him? God was there. He was right there, not watching helplessly, silently, hands folded; but I believe He showed her that He also suffered and died a cruel death. Not only that; just as He resurrected and now lives forever, she too lives forever with Him, and forever without suffering and pain. Five years of torture, is but a tiny speck in the spans of eternity. And this is also the gospel of grace and everlasting love that we are to preach. Our present suffering will never be comparable to the ultimate, fullness of joy and glory we will receive in heaven.
I believe these two questions are genuine cries of our heart to understand the magnitude of God's amazing grace and love. They deserve an answer. And the answer... is none other than God.
John 3:16 -- For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall no perish but have everlasting life.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Rainbows in the Sky
Rainbows in the sky to know God's promises are true...
I don't know when it was that I started to pursue after rainbows in the sky. Whenever it drizzles in the evening and there is still sunlight, I will be looking out for it on the eastern skylines. The sun would be on the west, shining through the raindrops and forming the rainbow on the east.
Coincidentally, the east symbolises where the presence of God is. The tabernacle was always at the east. The east is where the sun rises every morning, and every morning His mercies are new. Coincidence or creation?
Did you know? It's rare to see rainbows in the morning, because it seldom rains like that in the morning -- sun on the east and raining on the west sky. But I have seen this morning rainbow, and it was a huge complete arch, with its distinctive seven colours brightly shining against the grey sky.
And did you know? It wouldn't be possible to see rainbows in the evening unless you are right in the middle where the sun shines and it is raining at the same time. But I have seen it many times, and at times when I least expected it.
These are times when I needed an assurance from the Lord. And though these may be times when I least expected it, I am never surprised at the appearance of a rainbow, because I know they will come. Because I know God's love never fail. Because I know my Father wants to lavish His loving kindness and tender mercies on me all over again. Because He wants to restore me and heal me and comfort me.
And every time I see the rainbow, the Lord is speaking a different thing. Sometimes it is about His everlasting love; sometimes it is His assurance that He is with me; sometimes it is telling me not to give up, because this is what He wants me to walk in and stick on; sometimes it is all of the above. But all in all, His peace fills me and warms my heart... I am grateful for His love.
I don't know when it was that I started to pursue after rainbows in the sky. Whenever it drizzles in the evening and there is still sunlight, I will be looking out for it on the eastern skylines. The sun would be on the west, shining through the raindrops and forming the rainbow on the east.
Coincidentally, the east symbolises where the presence of God is. The tabernacle was always at the east. The east is where the sun rises every morning, and every morning His mercies are new. Coincidence or creation?
Did you know? It's rare to see rainbows in the morning, because it seldom rains like that in the morning -- sun on the east and raining on the west sky. But I have seen this morning rainbow, and it was a huge complete arch, with its distinctive seven colours brightly shining against the grey sky.
And did you know? It wouldn't be possible to see rainbows in the evening unless you are right in the middle where the sun shines and it is raining at the same time. But I have seen it many times, and at times when I least expected it.
These are times when I needed an assurance from the Lord. And though these may be times when I least expected it, I am never surprised at the appearance of a rainbow, because I know they will come. Because I know God's love never fail. Because I know my Father wants to lavish His loving kindness and tender mercies on me all over again. Because He wants to restore me and heal me and comfort me.
And every time I see the rainbow, the Lord is speaking a different thing. Sometimes it is about His everlasting love; sometimes it is His assurance that He is with me; sometimes it is telling me not to give up, because this is what He wants me to walk in and stick on; sometimes it is all of the above. But all in all, His peace fills me and warms my heart... I am grateful for His love.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
If
If you are here. Of which I know you won't be. But I still like to ask.
If your questions need an answer. Of which I wish you do. I would like to try and answer them, even though I don't have all the answers, even though I may not be able to answer them to the way you want them to be answered.
If you would just open up your heart, you will surely experience Him. Of which I firmly believe without a doubt.
If you have time. I wish you'd be the one asking, inviting, meeting.
If you could see what I see, you're the answer to my prayers.
If you would read this. Of which I know you won't.
If you would know what goes on in my mind and heart. It's more than I can bear.
If you would hold out your heart to the One, you will find the Way, the Truth, and Life in its abundance.
If you are free, you know where to find me. But only if you're willing.
If your heart and mind are not worn out from the day. Of which I hope you're not. I will be able to show you, that you're showered by His grace and mercy.
Only if.
But if this is how it has to be, Lord, so be it.
If my heart has grown cold, if my heart has gone weary. Lord, reignite the fire. Let Your love take me deeper.
If your questions need an answer. Of which I wish you do. I would like to try and answer them, even though I don't have all the answers, even though I may not be able to answer them to the way you want them to be answered.
If you would just open up your heart, you will surely experience Him. Of which I firmly believe without a doubt.
If you have time. I wish you'd be the one asking, inviting, meeting.
If you could see what I see, you're the answer to my prayers.
If you would read this. Of which I know you won't.
If you would know what goes on in my mind and heart. It's more than I can bear.
If you would hold out your heart to the One, you will find the Way, the Truth, and Life in its abundance.
If you are free, you know where to find me. But only if you're willing.
If your heart and mind are not worn out from the day. Of which I hope you're not. I will be able to show you, that you're showered by His grace and mercy.
Only if.
But if this is how it has to be, Lord, so be it.
If my heart has grown cold, if my heart has gone weary. Lord, reignite the fire. Let Your love take me deeper.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Arise!
Early I will rise and praise You, Lord!
Let Your name be lifted high and Your praises be ever ringing.
Arise, all you children of the Almighty God!
Arise and praise Him and shout your praises,
For He is good and His mercy endures forever!
O Praise Him, all you that has breath!
O Praise Him, He is holy and exalted!
Jesus, King of Glory, come take Your place!
Jesus, we worship You.
It's 6.45am. I have barely slept for 5 hours. But my spirit has never felt so alert and strong and on fire. And I mean this literally. Because for me to get up at midnight to pray, it's not something I would do normally. What else would you do if you can't sleep and you kept thinking about salvation for the lost?
I knelt and prayed for an hour, prayed prayers that spoke eternal destinies into their spirit. I wouldn't say I travailed in the spirit, but it was definitely intercessory. I'm not writing all this to boast; on the contrary, to give glory to God, because I know this is not of myself. And I know whatever He has led me to pray has already started to happen in the spirit. Thank You, Lord.
Today is Sunday, and you and I know very well what that means. :) "Early I will rise and praise the Lord!" This phrase keeps coming into my mind. I guess my spirit just can't wait.
I will be in The Vine Sanctuary, Sunway, this morning, with Ps. Lois. It's going to be the first time I'm there on Sunday, and the first time I will be an interpreter for Ps. Lois. I think I haven't started to feel nervous yet; maybe I will when I reach there later. :) But I know, Lord, You will be with me, and it's Your Holy Spirit that will work through me.
*
There are many ways of preaching the gospel. Some people use tracts, some people use care, some people are just touched by the Holy Spirit. But no matter what kind of barrier you think you're facing with the people you're reaching out, LOVE is the answer. Some people carried their salvation and Christianity with pride, a very subtle sense of pride, that they don't realise it's the number one killer that prevents people from seeing Christ in us. Yes, we have confidence in the Lord, but what your spirit carries when you share Christ is what will determine the outcome of the sharing. LOVE is the answer.
We are not trying to convert people -- this is the Holy Spirit's job. Nor are we trying to persuade people -- Paul said his preaching was not with persuasive words of man, but by the demonstration of the power of the Holy Spirit. Nor are we trying to sell something. Nope. When we preach the gospel, we are bringing people to a point of CONVICTION, that they need God, and that they can enter in through the Way and the Truth (Jesus Christ), and that they can have Life. We are bringing them to the point that they can make the individual decision to believe in Jesus. We are urging people, not begging them. Jesus must be presented in a non-threatening, non-confrontational way, and Jesus must be seen in us.
We are the light to the world, the salt to the earth. We are the called and sent. Compel them to come in.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
No Words to Describe
Where do I start? Today is the day we've been anticipating for. It's A Day in the Secret Place - a day of soaking in the presence of God and praying for Malaysia, in conjunction with Malaysia's 53th Independence Day. I know we've always been doing this, utilising public holidays to set a day of prayer and worship, but today is just ... different. One of the reasons is because we have invited an Evangelist to share a message with us and impart God's grace for evangelism to us; another is because it's one of the few times our church is packed during A Day in the Secret Place. Packed until seats need to be added at the back! Woot!
Evangelist Philip Yeoh (or Brother Philip Yeoh, as he likes to be known) is 70 years old this year, but he looks like just in his 50s, full of the zeal and compassion for the lost, full of the anointing for God, full of the power of Holy Spirit. His hair looks as though it has just begun to grey, not turning white for a long time yet. And his voice... the hymns that he sang... now I know the power of hymns...
Brother Philip shared a lot of testimonies with us. He says, there are many people who waited until their last days before making the decision to go to heaven. There are people who believed but chose to go to heaven empty handed, without any rewards. There are even people who are OCBC (Orang Christian Bukan Christian). But we only have one life, and with this one life, we MUST be CIMB (Christian Ini Memang Bagus!) and serve God gao gao (to the max). If you think evangelism is difficult, let me tell you, it's not. If a 70-year-old uncle can be on fire for God still and been winning more than 1000 souls; if a bedridden aunty who has just received Christ tells her fellow bedridden patients that she's not afraid of death because she now has a passport to heaven; if a taxi driver tells his fellow taxi driver friends that he goes to visit his rich Father every Sunday; if a prisoner on his death roll takes the only 1 hour he has a day to share with his inmates and asked for more and more Bibles to be brought into the prison -- YOU can do it. WE can do it. I, Stacy Phang, commit to do it!
There are many ways to witness Christ. Sometimes you may meet this person whom you think it's pretty impossible to talk to him/her about Jesus, but God is the One who commissioned us, so He has all the answers. Ask Him for wisdom and understanding, and obey. Sometimes we have the fear of rejection in us and it inhibits us from sharing Christ, but think about this: what's the worst that can happen? If the person you're reaching out rejects what you say, or at worst, rejects you altogether, are you losing anything? Maybe the friendship, but in heaven, God has credited a reward to your account just based on your obedience of sharing the gospel and doing the Great Commission. We won't lose; in fact we gain, because we are already winners and victors when we believe in Jesus.
This is just the first part of today, which built up to the second part - the showing of Jaeson Ma's 1040 movie.
The 1040 movie is about nations in Asia that is situated in the 10-40 Altitude on the world map. These include China, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Indonesia. It's a testimonial movie that interviewed many pastors, church leaders, Christian celebrities, ministers of God from these nations and the move of God in Asia. When I watched that, I just thank God and treasured my heritage as an Asian, especially a Chinese Malaysian. I felt so much like crying as I watched the mighty move of God swept through these nations, but there was no tears; yet I know deep inside me my spirit was crying, crying out to God, crying out for Him to move in Malaysia, in our midst. The urgency...
After that, we went into another round of worship. If the first and second round was already awesome and more awesome, this last round just has no words to describe. I stood there at the 2nd keyboard and I just felt like I shouldn't be standing there; I shouldn't be playing at all, that it wasn't right for me to be worshiping with my instrument then. I wanted to kneel and prostate immediately and to just cry out to Him, but I stood on and played the keyboard. There's just no words to describe this accurate enough. I wanted to cry, but there was no tears. I didn't know what to do with my body; it felt so numb and blank and like there was nothing I could do to be able to express what my spirit was feeling. Finally, I just stopped playing and knelt down under the keyboard and put my head on the floor and just started crying out in my spirit (still no tears), crying out for Him to move in my life, crying out for Him to move in Malaysia, crying out for Him to save all my loved ones...
Now I truly know that I love Him more than anything, anyone. Because He first loved me.
Lord, whatever that You have started in me today, the fire, the sense of urgency, the responsibility, the stewardship You have entrusted to me, the people that You have placed in my life, the destiny You have written of my life - fulfil them, bring them to full completion. This, is the joy that You want us to have, the joy of being who we are meant to be. Your beloved.
Evangelist Philip Yeoh (or Brother Philip Yeoh, as he likes to be known) is 70 years old this year, but he looks like just in his 50s, full of the zeal and compassion for the lost, full of the anointing for God, full of the power of Holy Spirit. His hair looks as though it has just begun to grey, not turning white for a long time yet. And his voice... the hymns that he sang... now I know the power of hymns...
Brother Philip shared a lot of testimonies with us. He says, there are many people who waited until their last days before making the decision to go to heaven. There are people who believed but chose to go to heaven empty handed, without any rewards. There are even people who are OCBC (Orang Christian Bukan Christian). But we only have one life, and with this one life, we MUST be CIMB (Christian Ini Memang Bagus!) and serve God gao gao (to the max). If you think evangelism is difficult, let me tell you, it's not. If a 70-year-old uncle can be on fire for God still and been winning more than 1000 souls; if a bedridden aunty who has just received Christ tells her fellow bedridden patients that she's not afraid of death because she now has a passport to heaven; if a taxi driver tells his fellow taxi driver friends that he goes to visit his rich Father every Sunday; if a prisoner on his death roll takes the only 1 hour he has a day to share with his inmates and asked for more and more Bibles to be brought into the prison -- YOU can do it. WE can do it. I, Stacy Phang, commit to do it!
There are many ways to witness Christ. Sometimes you may meet this person whom you think it's pretty impossible to talk to him/her about Jesus, but God is the One who commissioned us, so He has all the answers. Ask Him for wisdom and understanding, and obey. Sometimes we have the fear of rejection in us and it inhibits us from sharing Christ, but think about this: what's the worst that can happen? If the person you're reaching out rejects what you say, or at worst, rejects you altogether, are you losing anything? Maybe the friendship, but in heaven, God has credited a reward to your account just based on your obedience of sharing the gospel and doing the Great Commission. We won't lose; in fact we gain, because we are already winners and victors when we believe in Jesus.
This is just the first part of today, which built up to the second part - the showing of Jaeson Ma's 1040 movie.
The 1040 movie is about nations in Asia that is situated in the 10-40 Altitude on the world map. These include China, Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Indonesia. It's a testimonial movie that interviewed many pastors, church leaders, Christian celebrities, ministers of God from these nations and the move of God in Asia. When I watched that, I just thank God and treasured my heritage as an Asian, especially a Chinese Malaysian. I felt so much like crying as I watched the mighty move of God swept through these nations, but there was no tears; yet I know deep inside me my spirit was crying, crying out to God, crying out for Him to move in Malaysia, in our midst. The urgency...
After that, we went into another round of worship. If the first and second round was already awesome and more awesome, this last round just has no words to describe. I stood there at the 2nd keyboard and I just felt like I shouldn't be standing there; I shouldn't be playing at all, that it wasn't right for me to be worshiping with my instrument then. I wanted to kneel and prostate immediately and to just cry out to Him, but I stood on and played the keyboard. There's just no words to describe this accurate enough. I wanted to cry, but there was no tears. I didn't know what to do with my body; it felt so numb and blank and like there was nothing I could do to be able to express what my spirit was feeling. Finally, I just stopped playing and knelt down under the keyboard and put my head on the floor and just started crying out in my spirit (still no tears), crying out for Him to move in my life, crying out for Him to move in Malaysia, crying out for Him to save all my loved ones...
Now I truly know that I love Him more than anything, anyone. Because He first loved me.
Lord, whatever that You have started in me today, the fire, the sense of urgency, the responsibility, the stewardship You have entrusted to me, the people that You have placed in my life, the destiny You have written of my life - fulfil them, bring them to full completion. This, is the joy that You want us to have, the joy of being who we are meant to be. Your beloved.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Smallest Rainbow
To those of you who drive, have you ever thought of how you can give thanks when there is a terrible jam and you're rushing for work? Every minute that ticks pass is another moment closer to the threat of being late, so what runs through your mind may be worry and anxiety more than a thanksgiving heart that rises to God. Well, I had the opportunity this morning to give thanks to God, because I saw something in the sky that was beautiful beyond description.
Two cranes flew by, heading towards the zoo. One particularly flew quite near to the cars in front, because at the stretch I was stuck at was a raised highway. I watched them as they glided through the sky, thinking how nice it would be if they were to flew pass above my car... We inched towards the turning to go down the slope, and as I was turning, I saw it. The sky was now brightly lit, although the thick clouds were a unique combination of reddish orange and grey. And there, in between two clouds was one small ray of rainbow. But there was no mistaking it.
I think I was the only one who actually saw that. Or at least I'd like to think it that way. The rainbow lasted for only about five minutes, and it faded. But for the longest time I just stared at it, one eye looking out at traffic and another just trying to drink in all the beauty in it...
It was so small... Just so small... I tried to look if there were other parts of it coming out in sky, but the clouds were too thick, that was the only gap that allowed the colourful ray to shine through. I couldn't take a picture of it, but there's no regret; it's forever etched in my heart.
I said a prayer to my Father. I need You, Lord. I know every time You show me this Rainbow of Promise, You're just telling me and assuring me of Your great love. Teach me what to do. Show me how, Lord. I need You.
And I gave thanks for the jam.
Jesus, all the answers and solutions are found in You. Even when sometimes we think there are questions that we have never thought about, questions that are essentially doubts, Lord, even these You have the answers to them. Even when things don't turn out the way we want them to, You have the solutions for them. And all we need to do is just to rest in You, rest in the assurance of Your goodness and mercy.
Father, I thank You. And I love You.
Two cranes flew by, heading towards the zoo. One particularly flew quite near to the cars in front, because at the stretch I was stuck at was a raised highway. I watched them as they glided through the sky, thinking how nice it would be if they were to flew pass above my car... We inched towards the turning to go down the slope, and as I was turning, I saw it. The sky was now brightly lit, although the thick clouds were a unique combination of reddish orange and grey. And there, in between two clouds was one small ray of rainbow. But there was no mistaking it.
I think I was the only one who actually saw that. Or at least I'd like to think it that way. The rainbow lasted for only about five minutes, and it faded. But for the longest time I just stared at it, one eye looking out at traffic and another just trying to drink in all the beauty in it...
It was so small... Just so small... I tried to look if there were other parts of it coming out in sky, but the clouds were too thick, that was the only gap that allowed the colourful ray to shine through. I couldn't take a picture of it, but there's no regret; it's forever etched in my heart.
I said a prayer to my Father. I need You, Lord. I know every time You show me this Rainbow of Promise, You're just telling me and assuring me of Your great love. Teach me what to do. Show me how, Lord. I need You.
And I gave thanks for the jam.
Jesus, all the answers and solutions are found in You. Even when sometimes we think there are questions that we have never thought about, questions that are essentially doubts, Lord, even these You have the answers to them. Even when things don't turn out the way we want them to, You have the solutions for them. And all we need to do is just to rest in You, rest in the assurance of Your goodness and mercy.
Father, I thank You. And I love You.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
一年了
星期五晚上我已经回家了，虽然其实没有什么特别的事情做，但我就只是当着是和家人聚聚吧，看一看妈妈，陪一陪她。
星期六我们到旧街场去吃早餐，让我回味我们怡保的美食。一位同乡的朋友说的没错，怡保有两个值得骄傲的特征，就是美食和历史价值。第三的或许是岩石洞吧。你知道吗？大家都知道OldTown White Coffee 是来自怡保的特产，可是如果你有机会到那间旧街场的咖啡店品尝怡保的鱼旦粉+白咖啡，你就真的知道是和他们的连锁店有很大差别的。当然，现场准备的一定比大量生产的来得好百倍。我的词库很穷，没有办法形容得让你（读者）垂涎三尺，简单来讲就是非常好吃啦。
然后妈妈需要去办很多事情，购货、还钱等的。一路上我们都在说要买鲜花给爸爸和祖父母，但是都不知道要在那里买，因为我们已经不想去上次那件花店买了，觉得很贵，而且不美。想了很久，后来路过一间在街场的花店，觉得还蛮不错，就买了三束daisy+小紫花，一束才RM12呢。看着卖花的阿姨细心地把花包好，就觉得，其实做这门生意真的很不错嘛，除了好赚，看见花朵美丽心情也自然会美起来。靠自己的手艺生活，其实不是想象中的可悲嘛，只是或许在开始营业时会是登峰般的难吧…… 很佩服人家能够实现梦想，很想有一天我也能实现我的作家梦。
今天是爸爸的忌日，大清早就被妈妈叫醒，竟然是因为她身体不适，头晕导致想作呕，但是究竟发生什么事我还是搞不清楚。打电话叫表弟来载我们去看医生，医生说是鼻子敏感导致头晕，头晕导致作呕的征兆，然后还追问我是否也有鼻子敏感的问题，有没有皮肤敏感等的。咳，总之是因为妈妈需要治好她的鼻子敏感问题才会好。默默在为她祷告……
后来我和表弟送妈妈回家休息，然后到坟墓去。其实也不算什么祭拜爸爸，只是把鲜花摆在坟前。
看着爸爸的照片，每次都觉得这块石碑不是我爸，土里的骨灰也不是真正的他。肉体已经不再了，有时想起我真的很想知道他的灵究竟在哪里…… 闭上眼睛祷告，我对上帝说，“感激袮正在塑造我家人的生命，让他们每个人都将会体验袮的好，认知袮、相信袮。而我爸，袮在灵里保佑看守他吧。” 我从来都不知道到底能不能为过世的人祷告让他们能够进入袮的国度，但是我知道我一定要把握时间让现在尚在人间的亲人能够体验袮的爱。已经一年了，过去的悲伤我不要再牢记在心里。放开心怀，我已经让袮完全医好我每个伤痕。我要向前迈步，过得更好，活得更精彩，因为有袮的爱支撑着我，一切的悲伤恐惧都会消失。
上帝，我爱袮。爸，你永远都活着在我心里。
星期六我们到旧街场去吃早餐，让我回味我们怡保的美食。一位同乡的朋友说的没错，怡保有两个值得骄傲的特征，就是美食和历史价值。第三的或许是岩石洞吧。你知道吗？大家都知道OldTown White Coffee 是来自怡保的特产，可是如果你有机会到那间旧街场的咖啡店品尝怡保的鱼旦粉+白咖啡，你就真的知道是和他们的连锁店有很大差别的。当然，现场准备的一定比大量生产的来得好百倍。我的词库很穷，没有办法形容得让你（读者）垂涎三尺，简单来讲就是非常好吃啦。
然后妈妈需要去办很多事情，购货、还钱等的。一路上我们都在说要买鲜花给爸爸和祖父母，但是都不知道要在那里买，因为我们已经不想去上次那件花店买了，觉得很贵，而且不美。想了很久，后来路过一间在街场的花店，觉得还蛮不错，就买了三束daisy+小紫花，一束才RM12呢。看着卖花的阿姨细心地把花包好，就觉得，其实做这门生意真的很不错嘛，除了好赚，看见花朵美丽心情也自然会美起来。靠自己的手艺生活，其实不是想象中的可悲嘛，只是或许在开始营业时会是登峰般的难吧…… 很佩服人家能够实现梦想，很想有一天我也能实现我的作家梦。
今天是爸爸的忌日，大清早就被妈妈叫醒，竟然是因为她身体不适，头晕导致想作呕，但是究竟发生什么事我还是搞不清楚。打电话叫表弟来载我们去看医生，医生说是鼻子敏感导致头晕，头晕导致作呕的征兆，然后还追问我是否也有鼻子敏感的问题，有没有皮肤敏感等的。咳，总之是因为妈妈需要治好她的鼻子敏感问题才会好。默默在为她祷告……
后来我和表弟送妈妈回家休息，然后到坟墓去。其实也不算什么祭拜爸爸，只是把鲜花摆在坟前。
看着爸爸的照片，每次都觉得这块石碑不是我爸，土里的骨灰也不是真正的他。肉体已经不再了，有时想起我真的很想知道他的灵究竟在哪里…… 闭上眼睛祷告，我对上帝说，“感激袮正在塑造我家人的生命，让他们每个人都将会体验袮的好，认知袮、相信袮。而我爸，袮在灵里保佑看守他吧。” 我从来都不知道到底能不能为过世的人祷告让他们能够进入袮的国度，但是我知道我一定要把握时间让现在尚在人间的亲人能够体验袮的爱。已经一年了，过去的悲伤我不要再牢记在心里。放开心怀，我已经让袮完全医好我每个伤痕。我要向前迈步，过得更好，活得更精彩，因为有袮的爱支撑着我，一切的悲伤恐惧都会消失。
上帝，我爱袮。爸，你永远都活着在我心里。
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Abundant Life
It's been a long while. A good few months. And so many things to pen down, yet so little time to do so.
Life... it's interesting how differently people can describe it. Some enjoy it immensely; every day is full with purpose and meaning. Some are lost and still searching without looking at the right places for answers, or just too stubborn to accept answers that do not fit their agenda. Some are literally the walking dead; they are alive in the flesh, but not necessary so in their soul and spirit. Or maybe they have just numbed all senses, because of various personal reasons... Anyhow, this piece is not for judging or condemning anyone. If you ever fit into any of the categories above, I pray that you will be the first. We are all meant to be of the first category, because Jesus has given us an Abundant Life.
However, if you are like me, who sometimes are in the first, but some other times think you are of the second or third categories -- let us all tap into the grace of God and look unto the cross again. When things come weighing down on us, when life is hard going and it seems like an uphill climb, when you hardly have any time to just be still and listen to the voice of God, when 'rest' seems to be an alien word -- it's during these times that we ought to do our best to enter the rest of God.
Sounds like we have to strive again? Well, in a way, yes. Because we are bombarded by so many things every day, how do we shut them out, keep our hearts pure and our focus on God if we don't do our best to make sure we enter the rest of God? We have so many activities and responsibilities daily; if we don't make an effort to reserve time and come before God in worship and prayer, how will we ever find the time? But the commandments of God are not burdensome. If you really love Him, you'll know what I mean. I'm not saying this merely because this is what His word says, rather because coming to Him is not something we could ever do, but it's because He has already done it for us that we are able to enter in. If people of other religion could be so devoted and fulfil their religious obligations every day without fail, yet worshiping something that cannot save them, how much more we Christians ought to gear ourselves up and enter into the love relationship with the One True God?
Be Strong and of Good Courage ... this is the title of today's sermon by Ps. Gloria. It's such a timely word for me. Every stage of life is a challenge. I've said before that life from 18 to 30 years old has the most changes and stages. We grow the most, we learn the most, we discover the most, and we become who we really are by the various choices and decisions that we make. Yet, there are times we really need the courage and strength to go on. Sometimes we are deep in a situation and there seems to be no way out but to go through it, but we are afraid and we 'beg' God to let us out the easy way. Knowing our loving Father, He will answer us when we call, but are you ready to hear His reply that doesn't seem to answer your question at all? I think He sometimes does that because He knows we already know the answer and solution to the challenge, but we don't want to face it; we want to escape, to find an easy way out. He says, just be strong and of good courage. I will give you My wisdom, for it is foolishness to people of the world, but you know very well that it is life and peace. Thank you, Jesus.
*
Further reminders from the Holy Spirit: Isaiah 43:18-19 ~ Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Only when you let go the old will you be able to enter the new. Only when the Israelites let go their Egyptian-slave mentality could they enter the Promise Land.
It's almost one year now. Fans of Michael Jackson will be mourning / celebrating about him again. Americans will celebrate their Independence Day according to traditions. Today is Father's Day. How are you, Dad? I've always wanted to believe that you're in a better place, but I will never know that for sure, and I guess it's no point still holding on and not moving forward. Regrets and memories will always be there. I will always wish I have more time spent with you, but I will always remember every moment we have shared. I will move on. God, thank You for taking me higher. Dad, I believe I will see you again.
*
Tomorrow is Monday again. Lord, I just want to embrace You and lean on You, because You will give me the strength and courage to fight on. The battle is Yours, but the victory is mine. Your love is the answer. Your wisdom is all I need. I shall not be wise in my own eyes, but Holy Spirit, come have Your way in me. It's You I live for every day. Because the Abundant Life comes from You.
Life... it's interesting how differently people can describe it. Some enjoy it immensely; every day is full with purpose and meaning. Some are lost and still searching without looking at the right places for answers, or just too stubborn to accept answers that do not fit their agenda. Some are literally the walking dead; they are alive in the flesh, but not necessary so in their soul and spirit. Or maybe they have just numbed all senses, because of various personal reasons... Anyhow, this piece is not for judging or condemning anyone. If you ever fit into any of the categories above, I pray that you will be the first. We are all meant to be of the first category, because Jesus has given us an Abundant Life.
However, if you are like me, who sometimes are in the first, but some other times think you are of the second or third categories -- let us all tap into the grace of God and look unto the cross again. When things come weighing down on us, when life is hard going and it seems like an uphill climb, when you hardly have any time to just be still and listen to the voice of God, when 'rest' seems to be an alien word -- it's during these times that we ought to do our best to enter the rest of God.
Sounds like we have to strive again? Well, in a way, yes. Because we are bombarded by so many things every day, how do we shut them out, keep our hearts pure and our focus on God if we don't do our best to make sure we enter the rest of God? We have so many activities and responsibilities daily; if we don't make an effort to reserve time and come before God in worship and prayer, how will we ever find the time? But the commandments of God are not burdensome. If you really love Him, you'll know what I mean. I'm not saying this merely because this is what His word says, rather because coming to Him is not something we could ever do, but it's because He has already done it for us that we are able to enter in. If people of other religion could be so devoted and fulfil their religious obligations every day without fail, yet worshiping something that cannot save them, how much more we Christians ought to gear ourselves up and enter into the love relationship with the One True God?
Be Strong and of Good Courage ... this is the title of today's sermon by Ps. Gloria. It's such a timely word for me. Every stage of life is a challenge. I've said before that life from 18 to 30 years old has the most changes and stages. We grow the most, we learn the most, we discover the most, and we become who we really are by the various choices and decisions that we make. Yet, there are times we really need the courage and strength to go on. Sometimes we are deep in a situation and there seems to be no way out but to go through it, but we are afraid and we 'beg' God to let us out the easy way. Knowing our loving Father, He will answer us when we call, but are you ready to hear His reply that doesn't seem to answer your question at all? I think He sometimes does that because He knows we already know the answer and solution to the challenge, but we don't want to face it; we want to escape, to find an easy way out. He says, just be strong and of good courage. I will give you My wisdom, for it is foolishness to people of the world, but you know very well that it is life and peace. Thank you, Jesus.
*
Further reminders from the Holy Spirit: Isaiah 43:18-19 ~ Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Only when you let go the old will you be able to enter the new. Only when the Israelites let go their Egyptian-slave mentality could they enter the Promise Land.
It's almost one year now. Fans of Michael Jackson will be mourning / celebrating about him again. Americans will celebrate their Independence Day according to traditions. Today is Father's Day. How are you, Dad? I've always wanted to believe that you're in a better place, but I will never know that for sure, and I guess it's no point still holding on and not moving forward. Regrets and memories will always be there. I will always wish I have more time spent with you, but I will always remember every moment we have shared. I will move on. God, thank You for taking me higher. Dad, I believe I will see you again.
*
Tomorrow is Monday again. Lord, I just want to embrace You and lean on You, because You will give me the strength and courage to fight on. The battle is Yours, but the victory is mine. Your love is the answer. Your wisdom is all I need. I shall not be wise in my own eyes, but Holy Spirit, come have Your way in me. It's You I live for every day. Because the Abundant Life comes from You.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Random Remark
Dear Readers, just a random remark here, if you're reading my blog and wondered why I share some word and passages in the Bible and label the posts "Radical Worship". It's because I deem our journey with God as a worship.Quoting Pastor Joseph Prince, the greatest call in our lives is to be a worshipper. Since the Lord has said that true worship is worshiping in spirit and in truth, and the truth is Jesus, and Jesus is The Word; hence, the little sharings that I offer here, I hope to offer it to His glory.
By the way, there's no way I can share a testimony or write all the "Radical Worship" posts without first experiencing what I wrote, but Praise God, His Holy Spirit reminds us of all the things that we have learned, not only that, He also adds to what we learn by giving us more revelation. These revelations often come as I am writing, that's why sometimes the posts seem to end hanging, because I actually meant to write about the verses that came after, but as I elaborated on the former verses, it becomes too long for me to drive home two points in one long post.
I hope to experience more of Him and share with you more of what He is speaking to me. Let us continue on in His word and be rooted in His love. Hope to encourage you as you read, and myself as I write for His glory.
God bless :)
Friday, February 5, 2010
I AM (Walking on Water, Part 2)
Matt 14:22 After Jesus fed the five thousand (besides women and children), and there remained twelve baskets full of the fragments of the multiplied food, He immediately made the disciples to get into the boat to cross over to the other side of Lake Galilee.
Did you ever wonder why Jesus had to make the disciples go into the bed to go ahead of Him to the other side? The New Living Translation used a stronger word: He insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. Jesus did this because He knew what He was about to do later on.
v23 So He sent the multitudes away and He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. After ministering to the multitudes, He went back to the secret place of intimacy with God the Father. He withdrew Himself, as He did often, to spend time with the Father. The Bible said that Jesus did nothing of His own; everything that He did was done according to what God the Father had said. He was spending time with God so that He would hear from Him what to do next.
As He was praying alone, the disciples' boat was in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves. They were having tough time sailing through the sea. Mark 6:48 said, "Then He [Jesus] saw them straining at rowing, for the wind was against them. Now about the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea, and would have passed them by."
Jesus would have passed them by -- that means He was very much adept at walking on water, and He was able to walk fast even though there was a storm at sea. It also meant that He was the help coming to the disciples, but if they were focusing so much on the storm that they didn't see Him coming, He would have passed them by. He was the present help that they needed, but if they didn't recognise Him, the miracle would have just passed them by.
The disciples saw Jesus, but they almost let Him pass by because they didn't recognise He was Jesus. They were troubled, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out for fear. (v26) Instead of knowing that He is the Lord God, Tuhan (in Malay = God), they thought the other way round and called Him "Hantu" (in Malay = ghost).
To the disciples it was perhaps like this: "Man, we're in this boat-sinking roaring storm because Jesus 'forced' us to get into the boat. Now, if we didn't get into the boat to get to the other side, we probably don't need to go through this! Just how much worse can the situation be? (Suddenly sees Jesus walking on water) *gasp!* It's a GHOST!!"
Sometimes when we are facing difficult situations and circumstances in life, we can be so desperate for the Lord to show up, to the point that we don't recognise that the Lord has already shown up or that He is in control of the situation. Worse still, if we don't guard our hearts, we would be complaining and seeing all the negativity of the situation, i.e., seeing ghosts, seeing only ghost and not God.
Praise God that at this moment, Jesus showed grace to the disciples. v27 He said to them, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid." The Amplified Bible translated it as "Take courage! I AM! Stop being afraid!" Jesus was showing Himself as The Great I AM.
Isn't this a great picture of who our God is? When The Lord revealed Himself as the I AM to Moses, He was saying, "I am He who was, and who is and who is to come. I am the one you've been searching for. I am the Everlasting God, I am the Almighty, I am all you need. I AM." There were times I find myself praying or worshiping and I would say "You are, You are, You are Lord, You are..." But many times our minds ask us, "He is what? What do you mean I AM?" I realised that if you ask it this way, you won't see Him, His being, because our mental understanding tells us that the sentence is incomplete, i.e. You are..... (what?) Yet, our hearts can understand and connect to God, that He truly is (the Lord).
So Jesus was saying to them, I am He! I am God, not ghost! I am all that you need, I am THE LORD.
If we, in any situation that we face, can readily recognise that God is in control of the situation, we will not turn our sight to look at all the negative things in the situation. We will instead set our eyes and hearts and our entire focus on God. When Jesus shows up, all the other things become dim as shadows in the light of His glory and grace.
The account of Jesus walking on water is to me like life's journey. The Lord sends us ahead of Him, before His second coming, but He never has us off His mind, and He is determined to show up in our every day situations. When He comes, He doesn't just want to pass us by and leave us still deep in the problem, but to help us recognise we don't need to struggle; we just need to acknowledge that HE IS. Many times, God tells me that I don't need to struggle, because struggle is a form of work -- you're doing it by your own strength, labouring in vain. But when we acknowledge that He is THE LORD, He gives us rest and peace of heart as He takes over and set things right. As Pastor Joseph Prince said, when we look to Him and see all that He is and has for us, He sees us in our faith, and that pleases Him.
Verse to Remember:
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths
He is the solution to every need, the answer to every question.
Did you ever wonder why Jesus had to make the disciples go into the bed to go ahead of Him to the other side? The New Living Translation used a stronger word: He insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. Jesus did this because He knew what He was about to do later on.
v23 So He sent the multitudes away and He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. After ministering to the multitudes, He went back to the secret place of intimacy with God the Father. He withdrew Himself, as He did often, to spend time with the Father. The Bible said that Jesus did nothing of His own; everything that He did was done according to what God the Father had said. He was spending time with God so that He would hear from Him what to do next.
As He was praying alone, the disciples' boat was in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves. They were having tough time sailing through the sea. Mark 6:48 said, "Then He [Jesus] saw them straining at rowing, for the wind was against them. Now about the fourth watch of the night He came to them, walking on the sea, and would have passed them by."
Jesus would have passed them by -- that means He was very much adept at walking on water, and He was able to walk fast even though there was a storm at sea. It also meant that He was the help coming to the disciples, but if they were focusing so much on the storm that they didn't see Him coming, He would have passed them by. He was the present help that they needed, but if they didn't recognise Him, the miracle would have just passed them by.
The disciples saw Jesus, but they almost let Him pass by because they didn't recognise He was Jesus. They were troubled, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out for fear. (v26) Instead of knowing that He is the Lord God, Tuhan (in Malay = God), they thought the other way round and called Him "Hantu" (in Malay = ghost).
To the disciples it was perhaps like this: "Man, we're in this boat-sinking roaring storm because Jesus 'forced' us to get into the boat. Now, if we didn't get into the boat to get to the other side, we probably don't need to go through this! Just how much worse can the situation be? (Suddenly sees Jesus walking on water) *gasp!* It's a GHOST!!"
Sometimes when we are facing difficult situations and circumstances in life, we can be so desperate for the Lord to show up, to the point that we don't recognise that the Lord has already shown up or that He is in control of the situation. Worse still, if we don't guard our hearts, we would be complaining and seeing all the negativity of the situation, i.e., seeing ghosts, seeing only ghost and not God.
Praise God that at this moment, Jesus showed grace to the disciples. v27 He said to them, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid." The Amplified Bible translated it as "Take courage! I AM! Stop being afraid!" Jesus was showing Himself as The Great I AM.
Isn't this a great picture of who our God is? When The Lord revealed Himself as the I AM to Moses, He was saying, "I am He who was, and who is and who is to come. I am the one you've been searching for. I am the Everlasting God, I am the Almighty, I am all you need. I AM." There were times I find myself praying or worshiping and I would say "You are, You are, You are Lord, You are..." But many times our minds ask us, "He is what? What do you mean I AM?" I realised that if you ask it this way, you won't see Him, His being, because our mental understanding tells us that the sentence is incomplete, i.e. You are..... (what?) Yet, our hearts can understand and connect to God, that He truly is (the Lord).So Jesus was saying to them, I am He! I am God, not ghost! I am all that you need, I am THE LORD.
If we, in any situation that we face, can readily recognise that God is in control of the situation, we will not turn our sight to look at all the negative things in the situation. We will instead set our eyes and hearts and our entire focus on God. When Jesus shows up, all the other things become dim as shadows in the light of His glory and grace.
The account of Jesus walking on water is to me like life's journey. The Lord sends us ahead of Him, before His second coming, but He never has us off His mind, and He is determined to show up in our every day situations. When He comes, He doesn't just want to pass us by and leave us still deep in the problem, but to help us recognise we don't need to struggle; we just need to acknowledge that HE IS. Many times, God tells me that I don't need to struggle, because struggle is a form of work -- you're doing it by your own strength, labouring in vain. But when we acknowledge that He is THE LORD, He gives us rest and peace of heart as He takes over and set things right. As Pastor Joseph Prince said, when we look to Him and see all that He is and has for us, He sees us in our faith, and that pleases Him.
Verse to Remember:
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths
He is the solution to every need, the answer to every question.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Reminders of Love
The Word of God is beautiful, wonderful, powerful, prophetic, poetic, and every other good adjectives you can think of to describe it. It is life to our spirit and soul. It's the Love Letter from our dear Abba Father. Many times we believers, when we were newly born-again, we suddenly had a very strong desire to read the Bible, to study His word, even though many a times we may not understand it fully. And then, we get busy with various stuff in life, and sometimes you tell yourself that it's time to read the Word, but you're flesh is not willing to put down whatever that you're doing. And we grow cold, gradually, unconsciously succumbing to the devil's scheme to cause us to forget the Word. The very Word that has first saved us...
Jesus is THE WORD. And we are to declare Him, not just remember Him. Because you can remember something but never talk about it, and no one would know that you actually do remember it; it becomes a mere memory, sometimes even like a figment of your imagination -- you know it, yet you don't really know it.
In this post, I just want to list down some of the verses that has been speaking to me lately. If I were to share with you just what each and every verse meant to me, it would be a really, really long post. But I'll try wherever I can, yet the Word speaks for itself without the need of an interpreter, so read it as it is, and let it speak to your heart, just as it did to me.
I just flipped open my Bible and it landed on Zephaniah.
John 14:1, 27 -- Let not your hearts be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me... Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you, Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Jesus is THE WORD. And we are to declare Him, not just remember Him. Because you can remember something but never talk about it, and no one would know that you actually do remember it; it becomes a mere memory, sometimes even like a figment of your imagination -- you know it, yet you don't really know it.
In this post, I just want to list down some of the verses that has been speaking to me lately. If I were to share with you just what each and every verse meant to me, it would be a really, really long post. But I'll try wherever I can, yet the Word speaks for itself without the need of an interpreter, so read it as it is, and let it speak to your heart, just as it did to me.
I just flipped open my Bible and it landed on Zephaniah.
Zephaniah 3:17 -- The Lord your God in you midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.
Remember the song "Amazed"? He dances over us, rejoicing over us with singing. He quiets us with His love -- when you are embraced in His amazing love, you will just be in awe, without the need to say anything at all.John 14:1, 27 -- Let not your hearts be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me... Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you, Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Phil 4:7 (Amplified) -- And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Psalm 23 (Amplified)
1THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.
2He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters. 3He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake.
4Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me.
5You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my [brimming] cup runs over.
6Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.
Psalm 84:11 -- For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.
Rom 5: 1-5 -- Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Be reminded of His great love. When we start to focus on His love, on the very Person of Jesus, when we behold His glory and grace, He sees us in faith. All the things that surround us are mere shadows in His lovely presence.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Compassion (Walking on Water, Part 1)
I remember when I first heard of this message of the account of Jesus walking on water, it was a sermon that really spoke deeply to me. Subsequently, I found a book by John Ortberg with the title, "If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat". It is a fun reading book with many spiritual principles to draw from. I will share this in another blog post.
Matthew 14:22 began with the word 'Immediately'. Something happened before Jesus made His disciples go into the boat and get before Him to the other side of the lake. Before the account of Jesus walking on water was the account of Jesus feeding the five thousand. And before these two miracles happened, Jesus had a very distressing start of the day.
Matthew 14:13 -- Jesus heard that his cousin John the Baptist had been beheaded by Herod the tetrarch, and he was very sad. He departed from that place by boat to a deserted place by Himself. He wanted some quiet time with the Lord, He wanted to lift up His soul to God the Father. But alas, when the multitudes heard that He went to that directed, they followed Him on foot from the cities.
Just imagine, these people followed Him on foot! And it's not like they were all healthy and in comfort. Each of them were carrying their burdens, their sorrows, their sicknesses, their problems, and despite knowing that Jesus withdrew Himself from the crowds, they still followed Him. Why? Perhaps they wanted to console Jesus about John, but I think they secretly or subconsciously knew that Jesus would have compassion on them.
v14 -- When Jesus saw the great multitude, He was moved with compassion for them, and started healing their sick and preaching to them. And boy was the sermon long! Because He preached until evening, and His disciples came to Him to tell Him it's getting late, better send the people into the villages and let them buy themselves food. They were signally Jesus that they were hungry. (v15)
Instead, Jesus made a great miracle of multiplying five loaves and two fishes in the disciples' hands as they distributed it to the multitude. Notice the Lord did not break the loaves and fishes Himself, but instead gave it to the disciples and the food multiplied as they gave it to the people. He wanted them to know that He is in control, for them to see that as they put their trust and faith on Him, there will always be more than enough, because He is the one who supplies, He is Jehovah-Jireh!
Now, try to picture Jesus, who has just lost a close family member who is also supposed to be His forerunner. When a forerunner has died, that means He would be next to go soon. He was in grief, but He was still in control. I believe this is recorded because God wants us to know that He truly can understand our feelings. Jesus is setting the example to us that even though we may be going through challenging times, it doesn't mean that we then switch off our compassion.
I believe it is entirely normal and human when a person goes through grief that he needs time to regain focus and strength, to let the wounds heal. I'm not saying that when we go through rough times we just numb it and tough on the journey. God understands our feelings that we need to draw ourselves away from the crowd and just be in His presence, but He also wants us not to lose the compassion in our hearts. Because deep down inside, we will still have it and find it if we do not just focus on our distress. If we don't ignore the compassion in our hearts, the Lord can use us for miracles. However, if we choose to be drowned in sadness and never rise up, we choose to let God pass us by.
Believe me, I have been through times of great grief and I know what it means to lose someone dear. And during those times, I felt like I had all the right to be emotional about anything and everything and at everyone, even though deep down I knew that I shouldn't continue to be like that. I felt like just giving up everything that I know of the Lord, because for once, it actually seemed like the Lord has failed to show up for me, but then again I also know that it is not like that. I thank God that I never gave up going to church and worship Him, be in His presence. Though at that time I didn't understand many things, and I was desperately searching for answers, but looking back, I thank God that I did not give up the softness in my heart, the part of me that responds to God time and time again. I did not give up being compassionate.
Sometimes we lose someone and people tell us, "from here on, many will come to know Christ!" It's very hard to buy that when you're in that situation, because if many are going to believe in the Lord, why not the one who has passed away? Why some have to die while others get to live eternally? Where is the fairness to that? But friends, if a farmer were to sow seeds, will every seed become a tree? Or can he guarantee the exact number of fruits the tree would yield to every seed sown? Yet, does he say then that he will not go out to reap the harvest because it is too little?
Gal 6:9 Let us do not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
Don't lose heart. Don't lose your compassion. You'll never know how miracles will come. Jesus is the supplier of miracles.
Matthew 14:22 began with the word 'Immediately'. Something happened before Jesus made His disciples go into the boat and get before Him to the other side of the lake. Before the account of Jesus walking on water was the account of Jesus feeding the five thousand. And before these two miracles happened, Jesus had a very distressing start of the day.
Matthew 14:13 -- Jesus heard that his cousin John the Baptist had been beheaded by Herod the tetrarch, and he was very sad. He departed from that place by boat to a deserted place by Himself. He wanted some quiet time with the Lord, He wanted to lift up His soul to God the Father. But alas, when the multitudes heard that He went to that directed, they followed Him on foot from the cities.
Just imagine, these people followed Him on foot! And it's not like they were all healthy and in comfort. Each of them were carrying their burdens, their sorrows, their sicknesses, their problems, and despite knowing that Jesus withdrew Himself from the crowds, they still followed Him. Why? Perhaps they wanted to console Jesus about John, but I think they secretly or subconsciously knew that Jesus would have compassion on them.
v14 -- When Jesus saw the great multitude, He was moved with compassion for them, and started healing their sick and preaching to them. And boy was the sermon long! Because He preached until evening, and His disciples came to Him to tell Him it's getting late, better send the people into the villages and let them buy themselves food. They were signally Jesus that they were hungry. (v15)
Instead, Jesus made a great miracle of multiplying five loaves and two fishes in the disciples' hands as they distributed it to the multitude. Notice the Lord did not break the loaves and fishes Himself, but instead gave it to the disciples and the food multiplied as they gave it to the people. He wanted them to know that He is in control, for them to see that as they put their trust and faith on Him, there will always be more than enough, because He is the one who supplies, He is Jehovah-Jireh!
Now, try to picture Jesus, who has just lost a close family member who is also supposed to be His forerunner. When a forerunner has died, that means He would be next to go soon. He was in grief, but He was still in control. I believe this is recorded because God wants us to know that He truly can understand our feelings. Jesus is setting the example to us that even though we may be going through challenging times, it doesn't mean that we then switch off our compassion.
I believe it is entirely normal and human when a person goes through grief that he needs time to regain focus and strength, to let the wounds heal. I'm not saying that when we go through rough times we just numb it and tough on the journey. God understands our feelings that we need to draw ourselves away from the crowd and just be in His presence, but He also wants us not to lose the compassion in our hearts. Because deep down inside, we will still have it and find it if we do not just focus on our distress. If we don't ignore the compassion in our hearts, the Lord can use us for miracles. However, if we choose to be drowned in sadness and never rise up, we choose to let God pass us by.
Believe me, I have been through times of great grief and I know what it means to lose someone dear. And during those times, I felt like I had all the right to be emotional about anything and everything and at everyone, even though deep down I knew that I shouldn't continue to be like that. I felt like just giving up everything that I know of the Lord, because for once, it actually seemed like the Lord has failed to show up for me, but then again I also know that it is not like that. I thank God that I never gave up going to church and worship Him, be in His presence. Though at that time I didn't understand many things, and I was desperately searching for answers, but looking back, I thank God that I did not give up the softness in my heart, the part of me that responds to God time and time again. I did not give up being compassionate.
Sometimes we lose someone and people tell us, "from here on, many will come to know Christ!" It's very hard to buy that when you're in that situation, because if many are going to believe in the Lord, why not the one who has passed away? Why some have to die while others get to live eternally? Where is the fairness to that? But friends, if a farmer were to sow seeds, will every seed become a tree? Or can he guarantee the exact number of fruits the tree would yield to every seed sown? Yet, does he say then that he will not go out to reap the harvest because it is too little?
Gal 6:9 Let us do not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
Don't lose heart. Don't lose your compassion. You'll never know how miracles will come. Jesus is the supplier of miracles.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Help My Unbelief
Got this revelation about the story of Jesus healing a boy with evil spirit.
In this account of his healing, Jesus had just came down from the mountain where He and His 3 beloved disciples, Peter, James and John, had spent the night. They had the privilege of witnessing Jesus' transfiguration, but commanded by Jesus not to tell the vision to anyone until the Son of Man is risen from the dead -- because He knew He was about to go up to the cross, and that this vision would be an evidence or testimony the He is truly sent by the Father, and that He is the Son of God.
Now, as soon as they came down from the mountain and met with the other disciples, He saw a great multitude around them, and the scribes disputing with them. (Mark 9:14) A man came to Him, begging Him saying, "Lord have mercy on my son, for he is epileptic and suffers severely; for he often falls into the fire and often into the water. So I brought him to Your disciples, but they could not cure him." (Matthew 17:15-16) Mark recorded it as "... So I spoke to Your disciples, that they should cast it [the evil spirit] out, but they could not."
This father must have been very desperate for his son to be healed of the evil spirit. He knows very well that it was an evil spirit that caused his son to be epileptic, falling into fire and water, so he searched for the right solution -- the spiritual solution -- and he came to the right people. But to His disappointment, Jesus' disciples couldn't cast out the demon. Perhaps they have tried all night, using all kinds of ways, but they still couldn't help this boy.
And being desperate, as soon as the father saw Jesus arrive, he came to Him and related the night's incident to Him. Perhaps what he was saying was this, "Jesus, thank goodness You are here now. You see, my son is demon-possessed, and I guess only You alone can help me, because even Your disciples can't cast it out." And maybe he had this slight hint of complaining that His disciples were a useless bunch. But he couldn't offend the Lord, so he tried to relate what happened in an objective manner.
But Jesus answered him and said, "O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him to Me."
Talk about WOW! Was Jesus talking about the father being faithless, or the disciples? Or both? Perhaps it was both. The father didn't have faith that the disciples could heal his boy, nor did the disciples had faith that the boy would be healed through them.
Then the father said, "But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." (Mark 9:22b) Did he know that Jesus can do EVERYTHING? Why then did he said ANYTHING? Obviously, he was desperately begging Jesus for help.
Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:23-24)
The father was so desperate for something to happen that his level of faith had begun to decrease, and there was a mixture of faith and unbelief in his heart.
Sometimes that can happen to us. We are so desperate for something to happen, for a change, for a prayer to be answered, for God to show up, that our faith dwindles and we don't know if there was any basis for our hope. We are so desperate for God to answer us that it seemed like God was late. And suddenly we become confused. Should I really do this? Is this the will of God for me? Am I praying correctly?
Friends, let me tell you that if you're not praying stuff against God's nature and against what the Bible says, there's no such thing as a 'wrong prayer'. The father of the boy could have asked, "is it God's will for my son to be heal?" The answer is "of course!" Is it God's will for you to see your family members saved, see you living in prosperity, good career development, living in overflowing blessing? OF COURSE!
How do you keep on believing when what you have asked for is not yet here? Keep looking at faith (Jesus), keep hearing Him saying to you "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." He has already given us the remedy to help your unbelief.
Verse to Remember:
Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God (Christ) -- Romans 10:17
In this account of his healing, Jesus had just came down from the mountain where He and His 3 beloved disciples, Peter, James and John, had spent the night. They had the privilege of witnessing Jesus' transfiguration, but commanded by Jesus not to tell the vision to anyone until the Son of Man is risen from the dead -- because He knew He was about to go up to the cross, and that this vision would be an evidence or testimony the He is truly sent by the Father, and that He is the Son of God.
Now, as soon as they came down from the mountain and met with the other disciples, He saw a great multitude around them, and the scribes disputing with them. (Mark 9:14) A man came to Him, begging Him saying, "Lord have mercy on my son, for he is epileptic and suffers severely; for he often falls into the fire and often into the water. So I brought him to Your disciples, but they could not cure him." (Matthew 17:15-16) Mark recorded it as "... So I spoke to Your disciples, that they should cast it [the evil spirit] out, but they could not."
This father must have been very desperate for his son to be healed of the evil spirit. He knows very well that it was an evil spirit that caused his son to be epileptic, falling into fire and water, so he searched for the right solution -- the spiritual solution -- and he came to the right people. But to His disappointment, Jesus' disciples couldn't cast out the demon. Perhaps they have tried all night, using all kinds of ways, but they still couldn't help this boy.
And being desperate, as soon as the father saw Jesus arrive, he came to Him and related the night's incident to Him. Perhaps what he was saying was this, "Jesus, thank goodness You are here now. You see, my son is demon-possessed, and I guess only You alone can help me, because even Your disciples can't cast it out." And maybe he had this slight hint of complaining that His disciples were a useless bunch. But he couldn't offend the Lord, so he tried to relate what happened in an objective manner.
But Jesus answered him and said, "O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I bear with you? Bring him to Me."
Talk about WOW! Was Jesus talking about the father being faithless, or the disciples? Or both? Perhaps it was both. The father didn't have faith that the disciples could heal his boy, nor did the disciples had faith that the boy would be healed through them.
Then the father said, "But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." (Mark 9:22b) Did he know that Jesus can do EVERYTHING? Why then did he said ANYTHING? Obviously, he was desperately begging Jesus for help.
Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:23-24)
The father was so desperate for something to happen that his level of faith had begun to decrease, and there was a mixture of faith and unbelief in his heart.
Sometimes that can happen to us. We are so desperate for something to happen, for a change, for a prayer to be answered, for God to show up, that our faith dwindles and we don't know if there was any basis for our hope. We are so desperate for God to answer us that it seemed like God was late. And suddenly we become confused. Should I really do this? Is this the will of God for me? Am I praying correctly?
Friends, let me tell you that if you're not praying stuff against God's nature and against what the Bible says, there's no such thing as a 'wrong prayer'. The father of the boy could have asked, "is it God's will for my son to be heal?" The answer is "of course!" Is it God's will for you to see your family members saved, see you living in prosperity, good career development, living in overflowing blessing? OF COURSE!
How do you keep on believing when what you have asked for is not yet here? Keep looking at faith (Jesus), keep hearing Him saying to you "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." He has already given us the remedy to help your unbelief.
Verse to Remember:
Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God (Christ) -- Romans 10:17
Monday, January 11, 2010
Trip to Ipoh
It's the 11th hour, and I'm sitting here writing this when I have other writing assignments to work on, feeling like I don't have enough time. I know it's been a while since I last updated a post, but here it is, I've got to start somewhere to get it going again...
I got myself a freelance writing job for a property magazine and I'm supposed to do write-ups for them, reviewing buildings, properties, projects and all kinds of stuff that you can categorise as property. It's not exactly like how I thought it would be -- it's pretty complicated... For starters, it doesn't pay well, or so many people think, which got me thinking too, and got me thinking, why didn't I think about this before? Bro says I'm just lacking of experience. I wish I knew how to handle this and not be ignorant about things, but well, experience is experience, and it needs you to go and get it... For once, I actually felt that writing wasn't my kind of thing anymore, that I don't think it's what I want to do or should do... I don't know...
To tell the story of the title, I have to thank 2 people: Cally and Chrysler. And thank God for friends. They drove me all the way back to Ipoh to interview a client and get information for my assignment (which is underpaid). Really really super thank them and thank God for such friends and bro & sis-in-Christ. It was a good trip, good weather, nice people that I met with and gave me scores of details about their development project.
It's called The Haven -- like how I named one of the family mansions in one of my stories (Catherine a.k.a. The Golden Locket). For the first time in my life as an Ipoh girl, I found out that there is such a beautiful place in my hometown, and it's only about 10 minutes' drive from my own house! Will upload a pix on the spot when I can...
Anyways, this old uncle who is the director of this developer company was really passionate about his work. He explained extensively about every detail of the project, from the tiles to the railings, to the trademarked swimming pool shaped like a seahorse, to the scenic pond, to the lush green all around and the natural habitat at that spot, to the eco-friendliness of the whole project, etc etc etc... I can almost see a spark in his eyes -- such was his passion. And thank God, he is slow in explaining, so I had ample time to scribble my notes.
I hope I got all I need to write this very long piece, which brings me back to the crux of the matter -- why am I doing this? Why the hassle at a dirt cheap rate? Am I like what they say, being exploited? I really don't know. What I do know is that I really give thanks that I'm still in one piece and I have not placed myself in a position to endanger myself. Because initially, the magazine people wanted me to go with their ex-colleague, who is a guy of dunno how old. Well, they didn't tell me I was to go with this guy (whom I have never met, a total stranger) when they first introduced this piece of assignment to me. They just asked me if I could go to Ipoh, and that someone would go with me, and that all the expenses will be borne by the publisher. And they also didn't tell me that for this project, I was to write like 25 - 30 pages. (All this at the dirt cheap rate? Go figure!) And they also didn't tell me I was to submit it in a week's time, on top of the given 3 assignments.
If experiences come this way, I give thanks, because now I really know that there are times that my judgements fail me and I could easily place myself in a disadvantageous position. If experiences have to come by this way... I have nothing to say, except that I have acted recklessly and foolishly. To say that desperation has pushed me this far, maybe. To say that I lack discretion or I am just ignorant, perhaps very much truthful. But what I am to do about this situation, I have yet to come to a conclusion.
But I shall have to move on. And to move on, I shall welcome a new day by closing this present one. Lord, Your goodness and mercies are new every morning.
I got myself a freelance writing job for a property magazine and I'm supposed to do write-ups for them, reviewing buildings, properties, projects and all kinds of stuff that you can categorise as property. It's not exactly like how I thought it would be -- it's pretty complicated... For starters, it doesn't pay well, or so many people think, which got me thinking too, and got me thinking, why didn't I think about this before? Bro says I'm just lacking of experience. I wish I knew how to handle this and not be ignorant about things, but well, experience is experience, and it needs you to go and get it... For once, I actually felt that writing wasn't my kind of thing anymore, that I don't think it's what I want to do or should do... I don't know...
To tell the story of the title, I have to thank 2 people: Cally and Chrysler. And thank God for friends. They drove me all the way back to Ipoh to interview a client and get information for my assignment (which is underpaid). Really really super thank them and thank God for such friends and bro & sis-in-Christ. It was a good trip, good weather, nice people that I met with and gave me scores of details about their development project.
It's called The Haven -- like how I named one of the family mansions in one of my stories (Catherine a.k.a. The Golden Locket). For the first time in my life as an Ipoh girl, I found out that there is such a beautiful place in my hometown, and it's only about 10 minutes' drive from my own house! Will upload a pix on the spot when I can...
Anyways, this old uncle who is the director of this developer company was really passionate about his work. He explained extensively about every detail of the project, from the tiles to the railings, to the trademarked swimming pool shaped like a seahorse, to the scenic pond, to the lush green all around and the natural habitat at that spot, to the eco-friendliness of the whole project, etc etc etc... I can almost see a spark in his eyes -- such was his passion. And thank God, he is slow in explaining, so I had ample time to scribble my notes.
I hope I got all I need to write this very long piece, which brings me back to the crux of the matter -- why am I doing this? Why the hassle at a dirt cheap rate? Am I like what they say, being exploited? I really don't know. What I do know is that I really give thanks that I'm still in one piece and I have not placed myself in a position to endanger myself. Because initially, the magazine people wanted me to go with their ex-colleague, who is a guy of dunno how old. Well, they didn't tell me I was to go with this guy (whom I have never met, a total stranger) when they first introduced this piece of assignment to me. They just asked me if I could go to Ipoh, and that someone would go with me, and that all the expenses will be borne by the publisher. And they also didn't tell me that for this project, I was to write like 25 - 30 pages. (All this at the dirt cheap rate? Go figure!) And they also didn't tell me I was to submit it in a week's time, on top of the given 3 assignments.
If experiences come this way, I give thanks, because now I really know that there are times that my judgements fail me and I could easily place myself in a disadvantageous position. If experiences have to come by this way... I have nothing to say, except that I have acted recklessly and foolishly. To say that desperation has pushed me this far, maybe. To say that I lack discretion or I am just ignorant, perhaps very much truthful. But what I am to do about this situation, I have yet to come to a conclusion.
But I shall have to move on. And to move on, I shall welcome a new day by closing this present one. Lord, Your goodness and mercies are new every morning.
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