Apostolic Program Intake 11

It's been almost 1.5 weeks since the Apostolic Program Intake 11 ended. Sitting here typing this, I actually don't know what to write, because it's just too huge and awesome to actually have any words that are fitting to describe the Lord's greatness...

Y08's AP is somewhat different from the previous 10 intakes; it just felt different. And though I believe everyone, both participants and church members, had experienced God and received many great things from Him, I felt that the manifestation of the presence of God was just different. It felt like 2 weeks was just too short for Him to have fully shown Himself to us, like there were so many things yet to be released, like there was something else that He wanted to do. I wished it could go on for another 2 weeks, or just go on and on and that none of us would have to worry about time, our career, ministry back in our nations, family, etc. Yet at the same time it felt that the parting with our beloved participants, now alumni and friends of MTI, was the beginning of something even greater ahead, and the 2 weeks of soaking together in the presence of God was just a glimpse of the great work of the Lord yet to come.

I was truly delighted to see many alumni coming this year and to hear them share how it has been for the past year. Some I barely remember, some I have anticipated their coming and so glad to see them arrive safely, but all in all it was a joyous time fellowshiping with all of the participants.

I realised that I have come to a level of commitment that I undertsood there were just so much that we could give. I realised that sometimes we can feel so tired in our bodies and even our soul, and we tell God, O Lord, I have given so much already... Whether it's in our service to Him, in giving to the Lord, in any sense, from the amount that we have given, we could actually give yet more to the Lord. There are still so much that we hold on to, and the Lord always wants us to give Him our all.

Yea, I know it sounds very unreasonable, like God is so unfair, why He always want to strip us and rid us of everything of our own, until we have nothing left. Well, seeing that He owns us and our lives, doesn't He also own everything of us? Then why does He still wants us to lay down our lives for Him? That's because He owns us, but He doesn't own our freewill. And He wants us to love Him with all of us, because that's how He loves us -- He gave us Himself, all of it.

I think this realisation and understanding came when I had to constantly told myself that it wasn't because of my talents or skills or anything of myself that I'm qualified to serve Him. It was purely because of His great grace. It was because of Him and for Him. I had to constantly pray that "God, when I'm playing the keyboards, let them not see me, but that they would see You and only You." This was because by His grace, the Holy Spirit had touched many people through the worship team.

There were times I remembered that my fingers were trembling as they moved across the keyboard. Those were the times when I felt that I didn't know where my fingers should go next; my mind was blank, but there was that faithful input of a tune from the Holy Spirit, and it was more than enough.

The one thing that I remembered most clearly was during the final day of the program on Friday oct 31. The participants all gathered together and a representative from each nation came forward to pray and bless Pr. David, Pr. Gloria and the whole team in their own national language. The presence of God was immediately so evidently strong as soon as we started to pray in the Spirit, and stronger still as each took the mic to pray in their national language. Of course, we understood very little of what they were all praying, but it was really awesome to hear people pray in Aramic, Tamil, African dialects, Filipino dialect, English and etc.

But it was when our fellow Malaysian participant started to pray that I had tears in my eyes and my heart so touched by the presence of God. When she started praying in Bahasa Malaysia, I could feel such a heat over my head, a heat that comes from above and only on my head and not my body. I knew immediately that was the kabod presence of God, though I have never experienced it this way before.

Seldom do we actually pray in BM because we are so used to conducting everything in English or Mandarin or a Chinese dialect. And I understood that whenever we sing or pray in BM, it brings us to a higher level of experiencing Him, especially in the area of praying for revival for our nation. I realised that when we lift up His name in BM, there's always an uncontested reverence, an unfathomable awesomeness in the air that meant that He is THE LORD of Malaysia and nothing would stand against it.

I believe He still has great things in stored for us, for our church, for this nation and the nations that had come by His call. And though this might be just the beginning of a huge outpouring, I think it's not a slow movement or a process that would take long to complete, but we all know in deep in our hearts that nothing will hinder it from being accomplished, for the Word of the Lord shall not return to Him void. Amen.