There's no cheese cake

After all that's been said and done, it has to come down to this.
And you and I know it very well.
If it's going to be everything or nothing at all,
then the only choice I can make is nothing at all.
There's no cheese cake.
Because I'm not a piece of cake that you can eat.
If there's one thing that I can ask of you,
would you open your heart and open up my gift for you?
If you'd hear His voice speaking to you, don't harden your heart.
I hope you're reading this, because only you will understand.
Remember, I think the best of you.

The Journey of Faith (1)

When it comes to this, I guess everyone knows that Abraham was considered a father of faith. He's always associated with his journey of faith, how he trusted God for the miracle son Isaac, and how by faith he was counted righteous.

Note: Abraham was accounted righteous not because he was perfect in following the instructions of the Lord. Nor was he flawless and without mistake in his journey of trusting God and figuring out the call of God in his life. Nor was it because of something that he did that he was accounted righteous. He was accounted righteous because he placed his faith on God.

Do you know why faith is a journey? Because a lot of times we don't see something coming to pass with our natural eyes and in our own understanding. A lot of things that God has spoken to us and promises that He has given seem unlikely to happen. Or because we try to help God to fulfil His promises. Or because we value the blessing that God has given previously more than believing in the Blesser who can bless us even greater. It's a journey of faith because it is learned over time, sometimes even painstakingly.

When the Lord first spoke to Abraham about his calling to become a father of nations, he did not have a child. The Lord told him to get out of his own country to a land that He will show him and He will make Abraham a great nation, blessing him to become a blessing to the earth. God actually wanted Abraham and his wife alone to fulfil this great promise, but Abraham brought a long his father and his nephew Lot.

Perhaps Abraham thought that his father was able to give him sound advices because of his age, and obviously Abraham respected his father and loved him. If put in today's context, we look up to our spiritual leaders, giving them the highest regard and respect because of their calling and the good advices they have given to us. We are affectionate with them because they have laid down their lives to love us and shepherd us as their flock. But many times, we take them as an easy way out to experience God, rather than experiencing God first hand.

I recognise that there is a stage in a Christian's walk of faith to rely on spiritual leaders to feed them with the Word and to teach them spiritual truths, and we continue to feed on the 'pasture' that our spiritual leaders feed us with, especially what our pastors preach on Sunday. However, it is our individual responsibility to see ourselves grow to a point that we know we cannot keep relying on them to feed us. Just like our mothers stop feeding us milk and move on to solid food, and then move on to having us find food for ourselves, spiritual leaders are there not to cradle us whole life, but to point us to Jesus. At some point of my journey of faith, I've come to realise that I can't be a baby relying on my spiritual leaders anymore. I can't treat them like a teddy bear to hug and hang on to when I'm going through a bad time. I can't treat them like a prayer vending machine. Because I've realised no matter how much I'd love to talk about my situation and try to get their analysis, advices and their sympathy, and finally a prayer, it's up to me to sort things out. It's up to me to make the right decisions and do the right things to resolve the situation. It's up to me to seek God for help, because ultimately He is the solution and the answer to all our challenges.

So I have made this decision: I will seek You, Lord. When I call, You will answer, because that is what Your word says. I will experience You first hand and not through a second revelation. There is a place for spiritual leaders to step in and to give us Godly advices, but if You mean me to become a spiritual leader myself one day, then I ought to grow up. I ought to give up looking to my spiritual leader for solutions and advices. If I really believe that God, You are my answer to every situation and the solution to every challenge, then why can't I believe that You will tell me what to do? I will look to You, the beginner and the finisher of my faith.

I'm not saying going to your spiritual leaders is wrong or bad; I'm just saying if the Lord meant us to grow and become disciples that will take nations, we've got to start feeding from the right source. If we truly believe that Jesus is the answer to the world, then we ought to experience Him first hand as the answer to our problems and challenges. If we truly believe all that we are singing about "everything I need is You", then we need to stop looking to human solutions and human wisdom, and start looking at Jesus and His heavenly wisdom. If we would ever receive a revelation, it has to come directly from Him.

Human methods and solutions will only meet earthly needs; spiritual needs requires spiritual solutions that is found only in the One who saves. Let's begin this journey of faith, of trusting our God is really, truly, undoubtedly, all we need.

Worship

It's my first worship practice of the year. Coming together with the team is always awesome. More than the music, more than playing together, more than anything else it's about the heart of worship. Worship is not music, and good music doesn't translate into good worship. I'd like to say humbly that I'm still learning this, and the truths that I have learned to be reminded constantly.

There is so much to worship. The greatest worshipers are not the people who stand on stage every week leading the congregation into worship. It's not the most professional musicians, not the most anointed worship leader, not the best vocalist. The greatest worshipers are Christians whose hearts are after God. And everything else we do flows from this heart of worship, and it has to; it's a must, because if we don't do it out of our worship and love for God, it is just religion -- man's self effort to reach God.

A lot of times we give a lot of 'taglines' and try to encourage one another to be united in heart, to pray more, to be in right attitude, to do this, do that, etc etc, but change will only come for the individual who allows the love of God to saturate and fill him.

James 3:13-17 says that the wisdom that births forth from bitter envy and self-seeking ambitions is earthly, sensual and demonic; but wisdom that is from above is pure, peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. These verses have spoken to me many times and continues to speak more and more each time, deeper each time. When we have our own agendas, selfish ambitions and our focus and reasons of doing ministry is not about God and only God, we are using our own strength, wisdom and resources to do spiritual things. But you can only do spiritual things using spiritual wisdom -- which is from above. And notice the qualities of the wisdom from above? It's all qualities that comes from the heart. It doesn't say about qualities that develop from diligence or discipline or human efforts. They are the fruit from being connected with God and staying connected.

Otherwise, how are you going to be willing to yield all the time? Would you yield to someone who is hostile and want his way all the time? Will you be willing to humble yourself? How are you going to be impartial to everyone? Surely you like some people more than others. What does it mean to be pure and to keep ourselves pure? In this age of media, popular culture is the norm, but what is norm doesn't mean it's right. How do you keep yourself pure without being ignorant? And how are we ever without hypocrisy? How many times have we come to contradict ourselves and set double standards on others? How will we ever have this wisdom that is from above if it's not because God gave us the grace to receive them? Grace to the undeserved -- us.

Time is not our friend. I don't know about you, but I always feel that years come by and pass faster and faster every year, and every year we tell ourselves that we ought to do more of this and more of that, we should achieve this and that by when. Well, if you've talking about losing weight and setting a target to reach your desired weight by a certain time, you can make a goal like that. But many times, I realised that it's almost impossible to tell yourself that you'd like to reach a certain stage in your spiritual ministry. If you have reached there by setting a goal and worked towards it, I congratulate you. But as for me, I realised that it's not just a resolution, not just a commitment, not just a song that says "I surrender all to You", not something that you can 'work' towards; it's a covenant between God and you that says that "I know I can't do it Lord, and I really need You, let Your grace help me." It's a covenant that doesn't back out even when things don't seem to go the way we want. It's a covenant that doesn't need your qualification or ability, but one that is purely by His grace. It's a covenant that doesn't have place for a plan B, but of unrelenting faith and trust on the One who will fulfil His promise. (After all, it's His promise, so what are we worrying about?)

Lord, bring us back to the heart of worship where it's all about You, and none about us.

So Small

Sometimes the mountain you've been climbing is just a grain of sand. In Your eyes, God, it really is. Everything we need is You, it's Your love, Your grace; You are the answer. Everything that we are going through is no biggie for You. And I thank You, that You are bigger and stronger.

2011

And so, we ended 2010.

Last night / this morning's Thanksgiving and Rededication Service was totally awesome, praising God for all that He has given and done in our lives as individuals and as a church. Indeed, we've seen so much progress and so much fruit this year that can say we've stepped into the realm of multiplication. We've prayed and confessed and claimed growth and multiplication for many years, and here's the fruit we are experiencing and seeing -- and we rejoice to the MAX! Souls saved by more than double, lives rededicated to Christ, church finance increased and accruals almost disappeared! Hallelujah!

And the best part is the video (thanks to Bong Yang, Denion, Jetaime and others, really good job!) where the Great Commission and Great Commandment is made so clear -- win all, train all and send all; worship and ministry hand-in-hand. It was really awesome -- not on the quality of the video in terms of technical and editing skills, but the content and the depth of the understanding of what we practice as a church -- it was beyond words could describe. I looked at Ps. David, our beloved senior pastor, and I understood that this is his reward, this joy and sense of achievement that no amount of money can buy, no other earthly career or vocation can satisfy.

Let's do this again this year, and even more. Greater things are to come; it has become almost a tagline, but one that we all know will come to pass, and are putting all our hope on God. For we are not long here, our life is just a breath, so we better breathe it and know that we are made for love, to love, and to be loved.

Love never fails.

New Year's Eve

It's the last day of the year, 5 hours and counting and it will be over. I should have written this a few days, or even a few weeks ago, but well, at least I still have one last post for 2010.

I thought I would be celebrating the coming of 2011 with all joy and anticipation; part of me still wants to, but there has been a lot of happenings lately that made me want to hold on to 2010 even more. December always passes with doubled speed -- both in a good and bad way. And 2010, well, it's been a fast-slow year, if you know what I mean. I look back and I want to say I have no regrets. Or at least at this moment I'm not regretful of anything. Achievements, aplenty; setbacks, bound to be there; but what's more important and will always be is the promise that God is there through it all.

There are things that happened recently that I can't write it here, but suffice it to say that it totally challenged and revolutionised my perspective about many things. Okay, maybe I'm not at the point of being revolutionised yet, but challenged, definitely. How challenged? Well, when all that you know and all that you're passionate about and all that you believe in becomes irrelevant to the people around you and to the world. When it dawns upon you that what you've been doing and the cause you've been fighting for doesn't mean anything to the people that you're fighting for. When you begin to realise that you're a wretched self-righteous hypocrite who can't represent the Saviour you love. When you look at Jesus' life and you desperately ask Him, "Lord, how did you do it? How will I ever reach there?" When you looked at the people around you and you realised you're equally in need of the love of Jesus, but you're still snobbishly living in denial, thinking that you're 'holier than thou'. This is how I defined 'challenged'.

I guess when I wrote the post on Christianity is controversial, this is what I really mean. I guess it now gives me a new meaning, or more like, a new question, a new quest to overcome. Jesus said that we will do the things that He did, and greater things than these we will do. But Lord, may you give us the grace to do them, because we can't do it by ourselves, we are nothing.

I've never written a new year resolution or thought of it as early as this time. I have written it at the beginning of the month, and almost forgotten about it, but I know what I wanted to do at heart. I knew that greater things are going to come, but I need to be ready for them; my heart needs to be ready. Yet, at this point, being 'challenged', I have much to lay down, plentiful to crucify and emotions to reconcile. And I don't know how, only that Lord, I need You.

If I get to make a New Year's wish, or if there was ever such a thing, it would be to have Your assurance that You are with me, and You will guide me to do the right things, say the right words, make the right decisions. Would You show me more? I need desperately You, Jesus...

And Lord, 2011 is for You, Your glory, Your Honour, Your praise. I love You.

How He Loves Us

God love you. Yes, you, reading this and listening to this song. He wants to encounter you. Just open up your heart and let Him saturate you with His love.

It is Good

There was a king who had a loyal servant. This servant was an optimistic person and in all things, he always said, "It is good!", no matter what it was.

The king was one who loved hunting. One day, he and the servant went out hunting in the forest. They went deep into the wood searching for dear. The servant loaded a gun and handed it to the kind, but alas he loaded it wrong and when the kind fired it, his thumb was blown off.

"It is good!" exclaimed the servant.

The king was bleeding and furious. "How can you say this is good? This is obviously horrible!" he screamed at him. He was so furious that he put the servant into jail.

Some time later the king went hunting again, this time by himself. In his journey, he encountered cannibals who captured him and took him to their village. They bound him and was preparing him as their supper. But as they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone who was less than whole. So they untied the king and sent him on his way.

Full of remorse the king rushed to the prison to release his servant.

"You were right, it was good," said the king.

And the king told his servant how the missing thumb had saved his life and added, "I feel so sad that I locked you in jail. That was such a bad thing to do."

"No! It is good!" responded his servant.

"How could that be good? I did a terrible thing to you while I owe you my life."

"It is good," said his servant, "because if I wasn't in jail I would have been hunting with you, and the cannibals would have killed me instead."

Quarter of a Century

Yes, I know I should have posted this about a week ago, but still, late is better than nothing.

I'm delighted with the all the well wishes and blessings given by my friends, the surprise celebration after cell group, the after-church supper, and the Friday night dinner. I'm thankful of my parents who brought me up and raised me to who I am today. I'm truly grateful of all the lovely people around me. But most of all, I'm thankful and grateful to God for life. Thank you.

Life is beautiful. I've lived a quarter of a century and am able to testify of it. Sure, there are ups and downs every moment and every phase of our lives, but still, life is truly beautiful when you're able to appreciate the beauty of the Lord who created you.

Any special thoughts for being 25? Well, only that I'm wishing to move on to the next phase of life. Of course, obviously, life is not just about getting to the next phase, but the growing itself, growing more and more mature, growing more and more in spiritual understanding. But I know God is interested in all aspects of my life. And this, I surrender to Him.

I realised that at different stages of our lives, we have different groups of people around us. And until a point, some people will be less in contact with you, and from there getting lesser and lesser. Maybe even some relationships that you need to give up and move on. There may not be any reasons to giving up some relationships, only that times and seasons have changed and both parties have taken different paths and made different choices in life.

There are some relationships that you'll always have around you. There are some relationships that you've got to let go because it will not bring any result. There are relationships that will grow and blossom. There are relationships that will fade away through time, and when you meet them again you're loss at words. But God is the only one that will remain the same forever.

Life is beautiful. I'll move on beautifully, like a butterfly and flutters gently from one flower to another. I'll mount up with wings like eagle and soar higher. I'll behold the rising and setting sun, and know that You have appointed times and seasons, numbered them, yes, but each for me to enjoy, together in Your glorious presence.

*

My company pays us for a present for our birthday, so I went hunting for a dress for Christmas during the weekend, with a certain budget. I went to a few places, but I didn't find what I wanted until I went further away. I drove there with in mind of getting the dress within 2-3 hours' time. I don't like shopping when I have something specific to hunt for without a specific knowing of where to get it; I don't enjoy hopping from shop to shop and looking through many colours and styles but not finding what I want. I have a very low stamina for shopping. (Not sure if that's something normal, me being a girl...)

So I prayed and told God, "please tell me where to get this dress. I don't even have any idea how it should look like, but I want to have a belt that goes with it." And I went hunting for the dress. I reached the mall at 5.45pm, and I walked for a long time without seeing anything that was close to the little idea I had in mind. I was getting very tired and discouraged when I went into this shop and saw the blue dress. It fitted nicely, and I chose a black belt to go with it. I calculated the price of both and it was exactly to my budget! Praise God! It was around 7.50pm when I paid of the dress and belt. Two full hours of shopping, and I got what I wanted. XD

*

Shall keep posting...

Crossroads

If you always hear pastors / preachers telling you that Jesus has been tempted in every way possible as a human, yet without sin, and that he has been through all your suffering and pain in life and can identify with you, I would like to tell you that it's true. At any point of your life, whatever situation or circumstances you face, just think the ever famous abbreviation -- WWJD (What would Jesus do?) and put Him in your shoes. He wears all sizes. He's the only One whose size fits all. Or should I say, He fits into all sizes.

I've titled this post "Crossroads" because this is what we face most frequently. Decisions. Choice. What would you do? What should you do? Why? How will it turn out to be? Well, Jesus was at the greatest crossroads ever. I can't say if it's the greatest crossroads of human history, just trying to make it sound big, but I'm sure it was one of the toughest, if not THE toughest choice to make. It was at the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus waged an intense prayer warfare against spiritual darkness, against His flesh and Himself, and said, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done." Luke recorded in his gospel that "...being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground."

Jesus was at the crossroad of obeying the Father and giving up His life as a ransom for the whole mankind, or resisting this will and continue living His life. If He continued on, I'm sure beyond any doubt that He will preach to many more, heal many more, cast out more demons, perform more miracles, bring many more to salvation, etc. Yet, it was God's timing and purpose for Him to die so that even people beyond His time can believe and be saved. So, on one hand, Jesus would suffer excruciating pain and death, but He will save mankind. On the other, He would preserve His life so that He could continue to achieve greater success in ministry and impact the whole Israel, but He will not be remembered beyond His time; He will just be another prophet who has passed by in the Israelite's history.

Mankind at the expense of His own flesh and blood, or livelihood in the expense of short term achievement.

What is the "more right" thing to do when all the paths at the crossroads are right?

Many times in life, we face crossroads like this, where all the paths are right. There is no right or wrong to a decision, only whether it will lead you to greater, better results than the other.

We ask the Lord, "God, what is Your will for my life? Tell me, is it A, or B, or C?"

And He says, "Whichever way you take, I will bless you."

And many times when He says that, you know that you know, right deep down in your heart, what is your decision, and whether that decision is pleasing in God's eyes. "How do you know?" you might ask. My answer is... "You know that you know. Listen to that still small voice in your heart."

There are crossroads in life that involve the decision of the people around you. They may have made a choice to move on to a different path than yours, and you are somewhat affected by it. Never a day has passed that I did not think of the question, "What about me?" I'm not asking it in a self-centred way, but merely saying, what would my decision be? What would be the "more right" thing to do, for myself? I wouldn't say I can just suck it all up and pretend that other people won't cause me to falter, but I have learned that no matter what happens, I'll just have to stick to the promises of God.

Would I give up my life for many others to live, or save myself so that some others can live? I'll choose the former.

I'm not noble or able. I'm just saying, it would be the "more right" choice. And I will want to choose this.

How do I walk down the path I have chosen? By looking steadfastly and steadily at Jesus, who has paved the highway for me. Already I'm seeing new favour and blessings, even divine protection coming on me. Surely His grace is sufficient for me, just as His mercy is new every morning. Thank You, Lord. I will hold on to You. Because You never fail.

Your joy makes everything complete. I love You, Lord.